The Best Parts of my Life

Oh Christmas!

2009-12-10T10:13:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else feel like Christmas is a wonderful but stressful time? I used to love Christmas time but this year it doesn't seem as wonderful. There is so much going on and it feels like 100% of Christmas has fallen on my shoulders this year. I'm weary and trying not to be bitter. I'm hoping that once finals are over next week I will begin to feel a bit of excitement.

The mantle is decorated and complete with a fire. This is our first Christmas in this house and the first Christmas as an adult that I have had a mantle. It was so nice to hang the garland and lights and the new stockings we received last year from Grandma Kathy. The gas was turned on yesterday and I enjoyed relaxing for a few moments in front of the beautifully decorated mantle and fireplace.

Yesterday, Chas' good friend came in from Alabama to come visit for the evening. It was a nice visit for Chas and a milestone for me. Anthony and I never seemed to get along and while there was never any bickering or ugly words, we just didn't seem to like each other. About a month ago we did the mature thing and after 3 1/2 years of tension, we worked it out. Who knew he was so funny and such a nice guy. We all had a lovely visit after the guys got back from the movies. It was nice to see Chas laugh and cut up like he did last night. There has been so much ugliness and stress going on that a little laughter for both of us was quite nice.

Lindsey came over last night for an early birthday dinner. She will be in NYC on her birthday this weekend and so the kids and I made her dinner complete with a cake and present. It was nice to sit down to a home cooked meal with the kids and my very good friend. Lindsey gets along so well with my kids and they just adore her. I must admit she is a breath of fresh air in our life.

Well it is time to get back to final projects and other school related work. The semester is almost over!

Time

2009-09-21T09:42:00.000-07:00

So I haven't posted since May 2nd. Wow! I have been one busy woman with numerous changes in my life. Max relapsed, I practically killed myself this summer in school (21 hours BUT got all A's and B's), Catie's dad moved to California, Charlie realized the power of his scream, and so much more!

In more recent events, this past weekend was my 10 year high school reunion!! I have stressed about this reunion for almost a year. Did I really want to go? What had I done in those 10 years since high school that mattered? Would there be anyone there I wanted to see after all these years? After grappling back and forth with this issue for almost a year, I decided to go and get some closure on that chapter in my life.

When we moved to Tennessee from Florida, I was scared and had no friends. I spent the first school year in Tennessee at one school where I met my new best friend. My parents then bought a house and I had to change schools. I was mad and scared. I gained a lot of weight that summer from the stress of moving and having no friends and then starting yet another school. Much to my surprise, on the first day of 5th grade at my new school I made a friend. Her name was April. We are still friends to this day. Soon after meeting April, I met Peggy. She was WAY taller than me and everyone called us "Mutt and Jeff". She was friends with these two girls Rachel and Denise. The four of us clicked and we were best of friends all through 8th grade and into the 9th grade. Peggy and I were in band and Rachel and Denise were in color guard. We were still together all the time. Once we got into high school there were two more additions to our group. Sandy and Beth were in color guard and we all clicked immediately. Life was great. We did everything together. Sleepovers, shopping, etc. At some point Peggy got sick and left school. That left the five of us. We had so much fun. We loved the Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, and Hanson. We obsessed over their music and each band member. At some point in our senior year things went bad. If my memory serves me correctly, boys got in the way and there was some other trouble. We had a fight and I was out of the group. I went on about my life and made new friends. None were as good as the "group" but I made it work. They all remained friends and as time passed I got jealous of their friendship. I think that fight really affected me and the route that my life took. We became friends on Facebook last year and it was nice seeing how their lives had changed and the direction they took. I was jealous of the fun they still had and all their pictures.

These women were the reason that I went to my reunion. I wanted some closure I suppose. Emily came over and helped me get ready for the reunion and I looked fabulous! I walked into the bar where the meet and greet was held and then I saw Rachel and Denise. I almost cried. They look EXACTLY the same. Then I saw Sandy and soon after Beth came in the door. We had about 5 minutes of awkwardness and then time seemed to slip away. We were young again and laughing and suddenly it seemed to me that time heals all wounds. We took a group picture and looking at the picture later on I laughed at how we immediately went into our old "picture pose". Tallest to shortest, meaning I was in the front. We all looked the same. We talked about our kids, our parents, our careers, and it was wonderful. We met up again at the actual reunion and then went to the Chop House and crashed their bar.

I was so tired this morning from all the activities this weekend but so glad that I went. We are going to a concert in October and I hope that we don't wait 10 more years to get together. I learned this weekend that time does heal all wounds!

Frustrated

2009-05-02T22:32:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to sign on to my Blogger page to write a quick note about how frustrated I am and what happened? It wouldn't let me sign on and I became even more frustrated. That is the key word for the day. Frustrated.

I spend each day feeling like I am 10 minutes behind. I am behind on the household chores, I am behind on laundry, I am behind on a friend or family member's birthday, I am behind in my garden, I am behind in my schoolwork. I am always behind. Life wasn't this stressful a year ago. One year ago Charlie had just been born, I wasn't in school, I didn't have a job, Max was acting pretty good, and Catie was happy. Today I am working, chasing after Charlie, going to school, trying not to lose my mind on a daily basis with Max and his behavior and problems, and trying to figure out how to make Catie happy and not walking around with a void in her life.

My ex-husband came over today to tell Catie that he is leaving for California on Monday. Not just for a visit, this is permanent. Catie did really well until she realized that he wouldn't be here for her birthday. She totally lost it and cried. I almost cried with her. Not because he is leaving. Trust me, I am thrilled. I almost cried with her because her heart was broken and there wasn't a thing I could do to make it better. Isn't that what we want as a parent? To keep our children from being sad and feeling hurt? I just want to go in her room and climb into bed with her and try to take away some of the pain I know she is feeling. Her father isn't around much as it is but instead of being 30 minutes away, he is 40 hours away. I hope that as time passes she doesn't feel as sad. I almost hope that he just falls off the face of the earth and lets Catie live her life not wondering what she did wrong for her father to not be around or take her for his visitation. Chas has stepped up very nicely to the role of dad for Catie and she now tells people that Chas is her daddy and John is her father. She won't tell John that because she has such a big heart and doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. There are days when I struggle with not hating him. There are days when I just want to punch him in the face and I am frustrated. He doesn't see how sad she gets when he doesn't show up or how her big brown eyes seem to lose some of that sparkle when he doesn't come to a school function or recital. I am so over it and I want it to stop hurting Catie. She is too young to have that much pain in her heart.

Max is another story. My little 3 year old monster has been diagnosed as being bipolar and ADHD. He is now in "obedience" school, also known as the RIP program. It is a program for kids like Max who are hardwired differently and who traditional discipline doesn't work. I am hoping with the new medicine he is on (which is a miracle drug, he is an angel) and this program, we can get back on track and have a happy-go lucky kiddo. I think Max is a carbon copy of me and I hope that by getting his problems under control at age 3 we can avoid some of the stuff I went through.

I am loving school but hating work. Granted I have made lots of friends at work and they are awesome but I despise the owners and their greediness. I suppose I am feeling frustrated because it is prom season and I am not making any money at a time when we need the money the most. I am having to pay for part of my tuition and books for the summer and I'm having a really hard time coming up with the money. If I don't go to school this summer then I will not finish school until next Christmas. I want to graduate next spring. If work doesn't pick up then I don't know what I am going to do. In addition to my school woes, our bills seemed to double this last month and trying to come up with that money is really hard. We are having to pay for partial months of our bills from when we moved. They sure don't make it easy on someone to move. All these bills are killing us this month. I am hoping that I will make some good money on Mother's Day. I am hoping to make some good money between now and May 20th. That seems to be the deadline for everything. I am so frustrated with the fact that I have to come up with all this money for school. I am trying to better myself and my family and our situation and I can't get assistance. Granted I dropped out of college 10 years ago but I am trying really hard to make up for that and yet I feel like I am being punished for that mistake 10 years ago. I have shown how dedicated I am to school and have managed to take a massive course load each semester and keep a really high GPA. What more do they want from me?

Well I suppose I am done venting for the evening. It is now 1:00am and I have to be at work by 8:00am and if it doesn't stop raining I will have to take a canoe to work. We are supposed to get between 1-5 inches tonight. That doesn't count the other 5-7 inches we have gotten in the last 2 days. Our backyard is a lake and it will be a long time before it dries up enough for the kids to go out and play. That means I will have 2 little boys trapped inside the house, fighting, and destroying everything. I'm frustrated with that too.

Oh so long....

2009-03-20T11:38:00.001-07:00

It has been quite some time since I have written anything on here. Between school and the children and work, my time has become very scarce. So much has happened since my last post. We had Christmas in Florida, found a new house, renovated that new house, moved out of our tiny apartment, moved into our nice new house, and adjusted to life living in double the space. Max has had no flareups since we moved out of our apartment which made us believe there was mold in there and we have since contacted an attorney. I am in school and working as a server. My grandmother died during spring break and we were fortunate enough to attend a wonderful homecoming. Charlie started walking in January, much to our shock. He was 10 1/2 months old. He is now on the go all the time.

Catie is playing softball and acrobatics and doing very well in school. Max is being a holy terror and I have to keep my anger in check with him all the time. We were raised that you didn't cry unless you were hurt and crying to get your own way was a HUGE no-no. He doesn't sleep through the night and screams from the hours of 2-5am. Needless to say we are all very tired. He is so naughty and yet I love him even more because I feel that he lacking something to think that he needs to scream all the time. At what age is therapy appropriate?

I am working as a server now in a very old and historic house. It used to be part of the Castle Heights Military Academy. It was the commandants home and it is full of awesome pictures and history. They told me it was haunted when I first started and I personally haven't experienced it but that doesn't mean it isn't true. I get a very uneasy feeling when I go upstairs to get linens and such late at night. I try not to go up there. It is a fine dining restaurant complete with linens and water goblets on the table. I serve judges, lawyers, business men, and the occasional politician. It is very exciting at times and with the exception of some of my co-workers, I enjoy the job very much. I have never worked in a place where the standard tip is 20% and higher. I love the bail bondsman that comes in and tips me 50% and up. I love that $50 tip on a $100 check. I have had a hard time juggling school and work and kids and home but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Well I am off to go clean the family room and kitchen. Dad is coming over tomorrow to help put some furniture together and I think Mom is coming over on Sunday to help me unpack or organize something. Did I mention we have a HUGE fenced in backyard?? I am tilling my veggie garden up next weekend if the weather is nice!! Yipee!!

It's a wonderful life!

2008-11-24T14:42:00.000-08:00

I am still amazed at how my life has changed over the last few months. College is wonderful no matter how old you are! I am in a Music Appreciation class this semester and we are required to go to 2 musical performances and write a report about each. There are many free shows that I could have gone to but I wanted to take full advantage of the opportunity. Chas and I loaded up and went to the new symphony hall in Nashville and what a sight it was! It is called the Schermerhorn and the designers went all over the world looking for the best and worst of these concert halls and put all the best parts into one building. There isn't a bad seat in the house! We saw the Wizard of Oz but it isn't what you are thinking. The movie was played on a big screen and the Nashville Symphony played all the music to the movie live. It was awesome. I love the Wizard of Oz and to hear the score played live and not all old and scratchy was amazing. Sunday, Dad and Em and I went to TPAC (Tennessee performing arts center) and saw "Rain: A tribute to the Beatles". What a show! Dad sat between Em and myself and the look on his face when the show opened was one I will never forget. There were these 5 guys that all had this amazing ability to play and sing and look like the Beatles. The guy who played Ringo bobbed his head just like the real Ringo and the guy who played John Lennon went so far as to stand bow-legged just like Lennon used to do. They had the same accents and if you closed your eyes you would think you were seeing the actual Beatles. The funny thing was that all these guys were from Brooklyn! They played so many great songs and I watched my dad tap his foot and smile and he would lean over and tell me what was about to happen. " They just put a mic out for Ringo, he is going to sing A little help from my friends" or " Paul just got an acoustic guitar, he is going to sing yesterday" and best of all was the trivia questions at the beginning that he knew all the answers to. It was a fun day and I am so glad we had that time together.

Last week my friend Brandi came over and we cleaned out my kitchen and hall closet. It is so easy for us to be together and we have the same sense of humor and taste in music and we laugh non-stop. I am so grateful for her help and it came at the perfect time. I am even more grateful for her friendship.

Max has the croup and is in a pissy mood. While at the Dr this morning, Charlie projectile vomited all over the exam room. I left the office covered in puke and snot. Ahhhh.....fun times.

I am back to my homework. I have a number of projects hanging over my head and want them done!

Free Time??

2008-11-10T10:55:00.000-08:00

Soccer is over. While I am very sad, I made a ton a friends, I am also relieved. This means that I now have Thursdays and Saturday mornings free. That is 6 extra hours in my week for homework and home and the gym and my kids!! I have been so stressed out that I have not been to the gym and my weight is so out of control. Luckily I get a month off between semesters at school and maybe I can have some mental health days. I do know that during my break I will be getting the household ready for this next semester.
I did not realize how much time school would take up and did nothing to prepare. Our house is a wreck and everything is behind. I need to do menu planning and get a grocery list system going and get a chore book for each child. Maybe I will start a household notebook with things that need to be done daily. Right now it is all out of control. I might even put my computer away for that month as well. Because I am blessed to be able to take most of my classes online, I find myself on this laptop all the time. It goes with me all the time and I am always checking my school work and schedule.
Everything is so stressful right now but I know that the end result will be well worth the work and maybe, just maybe, my kids will see how hard it is to survive without an education and how much harder it is to go to college with 3 children and a life. I hope it inspires them to go straight to college after high school. I think being an inspiration to our children is so important and I want my kids to be so very proud of me!

Must Love Fridays!

2008-11-07T21:46:00.000-08:00

Chas only works the 3rd Friday of the month and is home the other 3 Fridays. I LOVE IT!! We went to have Max's pictures taken today at JCPenny. Oh what fun that was. Max hates to have his picture taken. He did pretty well today and it was easy to choose which poses to buy, there weren't that many that were any good. He didn't cooperate the whole time. They asked if we wanted to take off his shirt to do a "muscle-man" pose and we jumped at the opportunity! It was amazing to have his picture taken with no tube sticking out of his belly. The hole is totally closed up and looks amazing. I am shocked it closed to fast. It should have taken a month. I guess it was time! We had a fun time going around Providence and loved the good sales at Old Navy. The boys got matching shirts that said something about being monsters! Well I am done with my homework for the whole weekend and get to go to bed now. Tomorrow is the last soccer game and I have school and after that I am headed to Emily's for the night. It will be fun times!! We love our "sissy nights"!!

All better!

2008-11-06T06:40:00.000-08:00

Max had his feeding tube taken out yesterday. It is all gone and he is officially in remission!! We are so excited and can't believe this day has finally come. They told us the hole in his tummy would close up within the next month but this morning when I went to change the bandages, it was all closed up!! I was expecting to see an oozing hole....YUCK.....instead it looks like a little belly button and if it looks this good after 12 hours I can't imagine what it will look like in a month. Max is so excited to have his tube out and the sound of him going from crying because they were taking out the tube and then the realization that it was out for good and his laughter that followed made me cry. Every time I think about how far we have come, I start to cry again. I really never thought this day would come. I finally feel like I can breathe.

.

Website!!

2008-10-20T20:21:00.000-07:00

I discovered a great website tonight and I think I am in love. Im not sure how many people know about this site and if it has been around awhile and no one told me about it then I am going to be pissed off!! It is called FlyLady.net and it is all about getting your house in order. The plan is so simple it is almost silly. If you decide to go to that site make sure you read all the stuff on there. I LOVE it!

Soccer Ball in the Face

2008-10-19T12:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was so much fun. NOT! We had a soccer game yesterday morning and out of the 11 girls on the team only 7 showed up. We have to have 6 on the field to play. The girls generally get to play 2 out of the 4 periods and that works really well. Since we were short yesterday everyone had to play more than usual. Catie played all 4 quarters. She played forward the first 2 and goalie the last 2 quarters. All was going well until Catie got smacked in the face with a soccer ball. She got hit HARD! The rules are that unless a child is really hurt no one goes out on the field. I stood there for what seemed like forever until the other coach told me to go get Catie. I ran so fast across that field and when I got to her she was crumpled up in a ball covering her face. At these games I wear 2 hats. The coach hat and the mommy hat. The mommy in me wanted to scoop her up and take her home and say that we were done. The coach in me made her stand up and look at her face and tell her to buck up and keep playing. It was a hard decision and did continue to play and I was so proud of her toughness. I would have quit right then and there. After the game was over the mommy hat was back on and I ran out to her and hugged her and checked her all over and of course she was fine but it was still tough. Why is there no handbook for this stuff??

Then it all falls down....

2008-10-12T12:11:00.000-07:00

So here I am walking around juggling these beautiful balls in the air. These balls are my life. I am doing a great job! The red ball is my marriage, the blue is my kids, the yellow is school, green is soccer, pink is friends, and the orange one is work. All is well and then one day someone throws me a purple ball. It is a ball of nothing but lies. It totally catches me off guard and I loose control and all the balls fall to the ground and shatter. So now life is one mess of different colored pieces. None of them make sense and putting them back together seems impossible. So now I am having to decided which pieces are the most important and try to get them back together first. It is so overwhelming that where do you begin? Ignorance is bliss and I am mad as hell at the person who took that away from me.

Milestones

2008-09-30T09:09:00.000-07:00

There are times when I wish my kids didn't grow up but then there were moments like this morning when it is a very welcome thing. Catie got up and got herself ready for school and then walked to the bus stop all by herself! Max got up early (yuck) and actually laid in the bed for an hour and watched cartoons so that I could grab a few extra zzzz's! I remember when Max wouldn't even sit still to eat much less watch TV for an hour! I am now in LOVE with Dora and the Wonder Pets!! He is watching Go Yabba Yabba right now while I am doing homework. Thank God for small miracles.

School is going and I find myself with lots to do and very little time. I actually did a rough draft of my next paper due while sitting at Catie's gymnastics class. I was able to grab 10 minutes of peace (thank you Jessica) to get it all typed up and now I just need to look it over for errors. My English Comp teacher is weird about commas! I always seem to miss a few. I am finding that my math class is now my favorite and I am getting real joy out of taking a really hard problem and actually getting the right answer. I just need to find more faith in myself. The friends I am making while in school and coaching soccer is awesome! I have been so occupied with Max and his disease and then baby Charlie, that I have not made myself find new friends. All my old friends are still in point in their life that I have already passed long ago. The other soccer coach's wife and I have found that we laugh alot when we are together and it is so nice to have someone who has the same sense of humor as me. I have reached a point in my life where my friends are older, like me. I am no longer interested in having friends in their early twenties. I have realized that people in their late 20's and early 30's are right up my alley. We are all at a place in our life where we can relate to each other. Not to put down my friends who are younger. I love Amanda and Jessica but they are both single moms who have the desire and ability to go out every weekend and party and that isn't where I am anymore. By 9:30 at night I am ready for bed!

I am really enjoying this quest I am on to find myself. I have hit a maturity level that makes me not really care what people think of me, therefore I am just me. People really seem to like that person! My law class got out early last Wednesday night and instead of rushing home and avoiding everyone, I stood in the parking lot and got to know a woman who is surprisingly like me. My look has changed (thank you Emmy!), my clothes have changed (thanks again to Emmy), and my attitude has changed. I think I have made it over the hump! I have been climbing up the mountain of maturity and I think I made it over, FINALLY! It's a good place to be and I am enjoying it greatly!

I am off to clean now. Homework is done (for now) and Hotel Chasse is open this weekend. Our friend Patrick is coming back Thursday afternoon and I have lots to do to get ready!!

Nose Ring?!?!?!?

2008-09-27T20:35:00.000-07:00

What the hell was I thinking?? On my birthday I freaked out a little because I thought I had lost who I was as a person. I knew I was a mom and a wife and sister and daughter but was that it?? I wanted to try to find that fun person who wasn't scared to take risks. I got my nose pierced. I got it pierced in May. Why does it still hurt so badly? I am sitting here trying to write a paper that is due tomorrow night and all I can think about is how badly my nose hurts. Who can write a compare and contrast paper over the Baroque period that makes sense when their nose feels like it is going to explode off their face? So much for trying to find me. All I found was a sore nose. :::sigh:::

The Pokey Little Puppy

2008-09-15T20:31:00.000-07:00

I am beyond busy. My course load is huge. I am stressed. I am loving every minute of it! Every paper I turn in on time reminds me that I am actually doing this school thing! I am still in shock that I have done this well for this long!

Tonight I took some time out of my crazy homework schedule to read a story to all 3 kids. Max laid in his bed and Catie snuggled next to him while I rocked Charlie in the chair. I read them The Pokey Little Puppy and boy did it bring back memories. I don't even know where the book came from. I went into the boys room and saw it sitting there. It was almost like a sign to stop and breathe and read a story to my kids. As I read that story I was taken back to a great time in my life and I remembered a lot of the words. The kids loved it and everyone went to bed very happy.

Well I am off to bed. Tomorrow is a crazy day and I am dreading it. I know I will make it through okay.

What goes up must come down!

2008-09-12T06:54:00.000-07:00

Just when we thought all was well with Max we got a hard hit. He has been throwing up all of the formula that goes into his tube but not throwing up anything that he takes in by mouth. He has dropped 3 pounds in a matter of days and will not go to the bathroom on his own. We are going to Vanderbilt today at 3:15 for a GI study. They think that there is some form of a blockage that needs to be repaired OR he has outgrown the feeding tube and it needs to be taken out and sewn up. I am hoping for the latter of the two but I don't believe that is the solution. My momma gut tells me something is wrong. I will have more to post this evening when we know something.

Frustration

2008-09-09T11:15:00.000-07:00

I think the most frustrating thing in the world is when someone only hears what they want to hear and misses the point completely. When someone does you wrong and they make excuses and try to make themselves look good. How about just admitting you were wrong and move on? I hate to hear someone try to explain themselves out of a situation and miss the whole point of an email and try to justify what they did or said. It will ruin a relationship faster than anything and shows a real lack of mental health. Enough for now. I am going to go pick up the pieces of my life and move on and try to forget the people who used to be in my life and caused me and my family pain.

Confidence

2008-09-07T07:06:00.000-07:00

I have never been one to be overly confident. A lot of people think I am but it is just me not letting anyone know that I am insecure and lacking confidence. I had an Algebra test yesterday and I was freaking out! I studied and went and saw my friend Karen to help me understand the stuff I wasn't sure of and I freaked out. When I got to class yesterday the teacher started going over what was going to be on the test and all the rules. I thought I was going to throw up. As the teacher passed the tests out my heart was in my chest and I thought I was going to have a panic attack. A panic attack over an Algebra test? Yup.....my true lack of confidence rearing its ugly head. I looked at the test and got going. I went over that test 3 times and took it to the front of the class to my teacher. He grades our papers while we sit there in front of him and I couldn't breathe. I got a 105 on that test out of a possible 110! I didn't miss anything on the test and I am kicking myself for missing that extra bonus question. I could barely walk back to my chair because my legs were so shaky. I was excited and relieved all at once. Why don't I have more confidence in myself? I even told my English Comp teacher that I am not a good writer and that I look forward to learning how to write in her class. I have gotten perfect grades on all my papers so far in her class. When am I ever going to learn that I am smart?

Life here has been generally crazy and Chas and I never see each other. He works Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday night and I have Law class on Wednesday night. Friday nights are our nights to be alone and do what we want and then Saturday is Soccer and Algebra Class. We get Sunday together and that is about all we see each other. We pass each other for a few minutes a day. The kids are being good which is nice and poor Catie has learned that when a certain screen is up on my computer to leave me alone that I am doing school work. She is doing well in soccer and school and I am very proud of her as she continues to blow my mind with the stuff she is learning in school. They are working on multiplication in the 2nd grade! We didn't do that until 4th grade! She has gotten a 100 on all her spelling tests and near perfect scores on her math. Today's youth has a lot of pressure on them to do well and learn quite a bit at an early age.

Charlie is starting to really crawl but still not sleeping through the night. He did pretty well last night but still woke up once or twice. He gets prettier everyday and is almost as tall as Max was at a year old. He is a big boy!!

Max is talking up a storm and has tested at a 36 month level and we are thrilled! A year ago he was testing at a 6-9 month level!! We have some of the best conversations now and he loves music! We listen to Charlotte's Web soundtrack in the morning on the way to school and he knows the words to Chin Up!! I love the way he says Ipod. He is starting to really get a grasp on counting and will go "1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 7......GO!" and makes us laugh every time.

All in all life is good and I feel very blessed right now. I hope the kiddos continue to behave!

The Flobots, Motorcycles, and Patrick

2008-09-02T19:51:00.000-07:00

I have never had a visit with Patrick that wasn't fun. Granted when we were younger we fought alot and our parents were convinced we hated each other. Funny how when I look back on that time and laugh and remember that it wasn't hate I had for Patrick, it was a childhood crush. He was a year older than me and the coolest guy ever. There were no guys like him in my hometown! Patrick would come to visit and get me into some music group and then he would leave and I would spend the next 6 months to a year learning all the music he introduced and then he would come back and introduce a whole new batch of music. Patrick got me introduced to Weezer, Blues Traveler, and the Might Mighty Bosstones. I introduced him to the Beatles. Some things never change. While he was visiting he downloaded new music on my Ipod and once again he has me hooked on new music. Who knew the Flobots would be something I could ever like! My kids fell in love with Patrick and I am pretty sure the feeling was mutual. Chas was very standoffish at first but soon warmed up to him and now he wants him to move in with us and is counting down the days until his next visit. When he left this morning some of the energy that he always brings with him left our house and now our house seems sad and not as bright. He really has a way about bringing laughter with him no matter where he goes. I am so glad he came to visit!!

Patrick and Max are great friends!

I'm sure this one looks very bad but hear me out! Max insisted on running around all day in nothing but a tshirt and so Patrick rolled his shorts all the way up to imitate Max. He did have his shorts on!! I promise!

Somehow Patrick manages to make the crazy side come out of the Taylor sisters and Emily is still not immune to his antics. This picture came out really wrong since I snapped it while they were posing. It was good to see Emily cut loose a little.

Yup! That's me on a motorcycle. I never thought I would ever ride a motorcycle and now I am hooked. I had the best time riding on that thing and I am still shocked that I actually rode on it and didn't fall off or have a panic attack!

So long story short, my whole family got a huge dose of humor and energy that we desperately needed. We all look forward to his next visit! Especially Catie who had the BIGGEST crush ever and was not shy about showing her crush. He took her for a motorcycle ride around the parking lot and she thinks she is hot stuff now!! What a fun 4 days!

Life is NUTS!

2008-08-31T10:09:00.000-07:00

Before school started I was writing a post a day and now I am so busy that I haven't had time to write in a week!! My classes are hard and I am mega stressed out and wondering what I got myself into! There are so many papers to write and subjects to research and math to work on and ALL my Law stuff to figure out!!! Between school and work and soccer and Chas working 2 jobs, our paths have barely crossed. We see each other for about 5 minutes every day.

A good friend of mine came in this weekend and it has been so much fun! Our moms went to college together and our families have been friends for years. Last night Patrick and Emily and I all went out to downtown Nashville. HOLY CRAP! What a night!! Chas was wonderful to let me go and spend the night in Brentwood with Emily and we partied hard. It has been years since I have been able to go out and have a really good time like that and I really needed that time with my sister and good friend. We took a cab to and from Nashville and when they came to get us it was in a Lincoln Towncar! I felt like a celebrity when we got dropped off in front of that club. Patrick put the vibes out that no one was to come on to Em and me and we had a very fun night!

Sunday I finally decided to make the effort to get to know mom's new boyfriend and it did not go very well. It was finally real to me that my mom and dad are really divorced and it was the first time I really got to grieve my parents divorce. Mom's boyfriend is very outspoken and has a very poor delivery when he talks to you and we had some drama. I went back today to try to work it out and be the bigger person but it is hard when you have a man that is basing his judgement of you on what someone else tells him. I believe that our relationship will be tolerable but that will be all. Today was very emotional for me and I hope that the pain I am feeling goes away one day. I am grieving hard and my heart hurts so bad. I miss my mom and dad and their marriage and I miss who my parents used to be together. It would be different if I was 6 or 7 when they got divorced because I wouldn't have so many memories but I am 27 and have lots of memories and now there is a man in my moms life that is coming off like he doesn't want my family in their new life. I made it clear to him to day that he isn't my dad and never will be and that I have a dad and plenty of good male role models in my life and that as of now he isn't welcome in my life, especially if he plans on continuing throwing rocks in my box and name calling. I will accept him as my moms boyfriend but that is all I am capable of right now and I hope my mother will respect that and be patient. At this point I think I doubt that will be the case.

Emily, Patrick, Chas and I all went out to dinner tonight with no kids and had a GREAT time! It is so good to be surrounded by people who love me and make me laugh. Patrick is leaving in the morning and I am going to miss him terribly. He has made such an impact on my whole family and has been a great source of support to me and my sister during this major change in our life. He went through a divorce with his parents at an older age and knew exactly what we were going through. He also downloaded some GREAT music on my ipod and I am enjoying it as I write this! There is something about Jack Johnson that makes me smile and lift my heart. I forgot how much I liked his music.

Well I am off to bed. Charlie is sleeping in his crib for the first time in Max's room and I am expecting a long night. It was time and Chas really pushed me into this move. I have been bending alot this weekend and while it is uncomfortable it is time I learn that you can bend but you don't have to break. It is a hard lesson but I will survive. This has been a weekend of firsts for me and while very painful, quite a bit cleansing. I will survive this. I have to!

Short Post

2008-08-23T20:55:00.000-07:00

Today was nuts! We had soccer practice at 9:00am, drop the boys off with sitters by 11:00am, have Chas to the wedding by 11:30am, I had to be at school by 1:00pm (it is 45 minutes away) and be at Ashley's (niece) birthday party by 5:00pm. Needless to say it was rough day!

I have checked into 3 of my 5 classes and have already begun my English class and went to my Math class this afternoon. My English teacher has given us a TON of work to do just on the first day of school! My math teacher isnt the greatest in my opinion. He is a very smart man and while he could probably teach a more advanced class and be great, he has no business teaching ELEMENTARY ALGEBRA! He likes to make assumptions. He assumes we know something already and he need not go over the text. It has been YEARS since I have done any type of math and I forgot all about variables and how to manage fractions. Assume nothing with me but I was able to get on track.

I have been doing homework since 7 and I feel like I have gotten no where. I will write more tomorrow is time permits! I have pics to post from Ashleys bday and the wedding that Chas was in today. Catie is a great little photog!

Malfunctioning Children

2008-08-21T11:56:00.000-07:00

What a week this has been and its only Thursday! I took the boys to the Dr yesterday because they both had runny noses. I normally don't take my kids to the doctor for a runny nose but Max told me his ear hurt. That is one of the real perks of having a child who can finally talk!! So Max has an ear infection and Charlie has a little head cold AND a yeast infection in his neck (gotta love fat babies) and GERD. Poor little guy has really bad heartburn and spits up all the time and has these lovely screaming fits. I am hoping this helps him start sleeping through the night. Chas and I are so tired from these up all night deals. Chas is way more tired than me since he has started getting up with Charlie more at night. By the time Chas gets the baby back to sleep it is time for him to get up and go to work. Luckily he has the next 4 Fridays off and I am very excited.

Today is soccer practice and don't you know I forgot what time it got moved to?? Crap. I had to email the other coach like a big doofus and ask him. What kind of coach am I if I can't even remember what time we have practice. Life is too short to be this unorganized!

I have decided to be brutal in cleaning out this apartment. We have too much crap and so I am going through stuff and posting it on our local FreeCycle. I posted some stuff last night and got a number of fast replies and have a nice lady coming to pick up the first batch today. If I don't get some stuff out of here we are going to have to move Charlie to the roof!

It is getting to be that time of year that I loathe. I have 2 favorite seasons. Spring and Fall. They are beautiful around here and I love the colors and weather. I HATE the changing of the clothes. I have to do it twice a year and it takes all weekend. I have only it done for 2 kids in the past and this is my first year of adding a 3rd child. I have to drag out all the summer stuff and box it up and get out the winter stuff but still make sure I have some summer stuff left out to go under sweaters and such. I was hoping Max would be able to wear his jeans from last year but no such luck. He has grown 3 inches and so all of his old pants are way to short. I don't undertand why they group kids in these sizes. 12M, 18M, 24M, 2T, 3T, ect..........Max has long legs but a small waist. Why don't they have a 2T long?? The 3T will fit him in length but not around his tummy so he will have pants falling down all winter. Charlie is SUPER long and is the same length as Max was at 12 months old. I am pretty sure Max's winter clothes will fit Charlie. Catie has quite a number of things for this winter but will need a few tops. Max will need all new clothes. Poor kid. All he wore last year were onsies because of his tube and now his torso is too long and he needs regular shirts. So it is off to Wal-Mart to hit the geranimals section!! I LOVE only spending $3.50 on a pair of pants that I know he is going to trash. I am hoping Childrens Place will have a big sale too so I can get him a couple of semi-nice things. It all adds up and I am glad I am working!

Well I am off to find something to clean out. It shouldn't be too hard!! Everything is stuffed to the rafters!!

Dreaming

2008-08-19T20:39:00.000-07:00

Today was an awful day. Chas called me this morning to make sure I was up to take Catie to school and go to work and he asked me if I spilled something in front of the washer. I told him no and went downstairs to investigate. There was a river running through my kitchen!! I traced the source of the water to a leaky hose on our hot water heater. I called maintenance (at 7:00am) and left a message. Thank goodness he is our neighbor and he was right over to turn everything off to stop the leak. I refuse to mess with any of that stuff, that's why we pay rent! So as Im cleaning up the mess, Chas sends me a text message and all it said was Mike died. I started to cry. I never met this man and don't know him but he was my brother-in-laws father and he was sick for a very short period of time. He had cancer that quickly took his life. I cried for my nieces, Bailey and Ashley, and I cried for my brother-in-law and April, and I cried for a man who wasn't going to get to see his grand kids grow up. I remember when my grandfather died and it was a terrible time for our whole family. It has been almost 14 years since my grandpa died and I miss him more and more everyday. Im glad that Mike is no longer in pain and Im not quite sure his death effected me like it did. I think it is because he died of lung cancer and I have smoked for almost 13 years and it scares me......................

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So after the whole no water situation and having to keep Catie out of school and taking her to work with me (not a good idea, Catie and Max fight too much), I settled into my daily routine. The day really drained me and I HAD to take a nap this afternoon. Both boys slept for a good amount of time and I got a nice little nap in today!

As I was fixing dinner I walked barefoot in my living room and as I walked by the closet my feet squished. There is something new leaking in our other closet and the carpet is soaked. We can't find the leak and I have had to take everything out of this closet. We don't have much space here and so the way that closet is packed defies the laws of gravity. So ALL that stuff is now stacked in my living room. What a way to start my day tomorrow!

Chas and Charlie are asleep on the couch and I took a few minutes to look for a desk for myself! I need something to put my laptop on and study. I have a ton of books and have no real place to do my studies. I found a few desks and headed over to the kids rooms section. I looked at bunk beds with a slide for the boys and a beautiful canopy bed for Catie and all I could do was dream. These are things that my kids have never asked for and I doubt they ever will but they are still things that I want to be able to buy for them one day. This ability to dream has really fueled my drive to finish school and be a huge success and provide for my kids in a way that we surely can't do right now. My aunts and cousins are trying to put money together for a new recliner for my grandfathers birthday and I felt so bad because they were all contributing $50 and all my family could pitch in was $25 and even that will be a struggle to come up with right now. I want to be able to throw in $100 or more and while that is not a reality right now I know it will be one day. I will be a success. I watched my Aunt M and cousins struggle and go through all the hard times and yet my Aunt has a PhD and teaches at a University now. She didn't finish all her school until she was older and she did it! She is part of my inspiration as well.

Sorry this is such a rambling post. It has been a tough day and my mind is racing with everything that has happened. I am going to climb into bed with Charlie and read my Sociology book. I should be asleep in no time!

The Wilson County Fair

2008-08-17T14:58:00.000-07:00

Charlie excited about the fair!

What a day! It was pretty hot but there was a nice breeze and lots of good shade to be found at the Wilson County Fair! Our county fair is the best fair in the state and brings in more people than the Tennessee State Fair. Today was the Antique car show and normally dad enters his car but there is something wrong with the engine and he couldn't get it to run. That didn't stop dad from going and so the 5 of us and dad all went together. We went to the car show and looked at all the cars. There was a Corvair there which happens to be my favorite car since I have one and there was a Model A there that was identical to my grandfathers first remodeled car. It was the same color and everything and it took me back to my childhood and riding in the rumble seat to go to car meets. I think my dad was glad to see it as well. We went around and looked at all the cars and headed over to look at the livestock and Max was very confused by the goats since they sounded like sheep. We saw a few celebrities and while the livestock barns were stinky it was filled with shade and gave us a few moments of cool. We went and got ice cream and drinks and after we saw all there was to see dad left and we stayed to ride some of the rides. Since we had the boys we opted to not ride the rides since someone would get left out and just let Catie ride everything. That kid is fearless! She rode everything she could ride and wasn't scared at all! She was barely tall enough to ride the big rides without one of us and had a great time. I was more scared than she was at times! The boys and I got lots of sun and we are all very tired! It was a fun filled day but exhausting. Everyone is in bed now and I am soon to follow. Enjoy the pictures from today! *there are no pictures of Max because he would never look at the camera*

Ariel shot of the fair from the scary faris wheel!

Charlie taking a brief nap

Catie after a grown up ride!

Charlie mastering the art of the sippie cup

There are tons of churches every year and they seem to get more creative each year! This cracked me up!

This was a horse made out of 1071 horse shoes! It took 1000 hours to make!

Catie and Poppy looking at old cars

Sun kissed baby Charlie

Pictures of the Boys

2008-08-16T20:06:00.000-07:00

Charlie and his new toy

Charlie and Max in the bathtub

Charlie LOVES his bath

Max LOVES his bath too!

Soccer

2008-08-14T19:49:00.000-07:00

I wasn't able to get my computer in the shop until Friday so I have one more day with my baby. I thought I would post Catie in her soccer gear! She did so well today at her first practice and I think I did pretty good myself!! It wasn't too hot and we mainly ran drills and practiced long kicks to see where all the kids stand in the way of skill. Catie did well considering she has never played before and she showed some real potential. I think if she could learn how to run she would be a great athlete. She has the skills but the poor child can't run!! She flails her arms about and looks too funny. Max wanted to play too but Aunt Em took him and Charlie to the playground to burn off some energy. It was a great afternoon but I am really tired today.

While I was cooking dinner tonight Max escaped out the back door and a very kind neighbor brought him home. I wanted to kill him!! He is such a monster and how he has figured out the child proof knobs is beyond my realm of understanding. He can't pee pee in the potty but he can get a child proof door knob open. What am I going to do with him!

I saw an old acquaintance that happens to know our family very well and I found out that there is a certain member of my family that isn't happy about me going back to school and isn't going to be supportive. I had been wondering for awhile if this person was happy about me going to school but after a little incident this week it all made sense. It is hurtful to me that someone who is supposed to love me doesn't have faith in me and it just makes me want it that much more. The funny thing is that when I do graduate from school this same person who has no faith in me now will try to take credit for me finishing and it just burns me up inside. But what can you expect from a dysfunctional family like mine?

Well I am off to bed. I am weary and this is the first time all day I have had the chance to sit down for something other than feeding a child or driving. Tomorrow will be better!

Off for awhile

2008-08-13T10:59:00.000-07:00

My nice new laptop that I bought from Best Buy is malfunctioning and since it is the only working computer in this house, I am about to be without a computer for an unknown amount of time. I have to take it to Best Buy to those Geeks and see if they can fix it without ruining it or losing the poor thing. I have heard some scary stuff about Best Buy and I am a bit nervous about taking my computer with all my pics and personal info to these guys. They said it could take 2-4 weeks to fix it and my first class starts August 23 and I have to sign into my class via the Internet in order to get credit and financial aid. GRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Monster Max and 2nd Jobs

2008-08-12T18:09:00.000-07:00

Chas got a second job and while the end goal is one worth working for, I am tired. I am out numbered when he isn't home and the kids know it and boy do they take advantage of the situation. Max was a monster all afternoon and evening and I was reading to wring his sweet little neck. Charlie insisted on being held all evening and Catie had real problems with following directions. All that combined has made for a rough evening. Max has such an attitude these days and loves to make his opinion known to everyone. He screamed and threw a tantrum every time he had a chance and I was sick of it by 7:00 when Chas got home from his second job. He was so sweet and took both boys to Kroger to get me some yummy ice cream. I have been craving sweets so bad here lately and wanted something with peanut butter and chocolate. He is the king of ice cream so I know he will bring me home something wonderful.

I made baby food this evening and had a really hard time. Normally I block off a portion of my day just to make baby food and that is all I do during that time. I have been so busy lately and SO tired when the boys nap that I haven't been able to get it all done. I decided that I would make up a couple things tonight while I was cooking dinner and it just didn't work out for me like I wished it would have. I couldn't get the Mango to peel and cut and it wasn't ripe enough so I had to steam it a little to get it to be smooth and the Avocados didn't like my food processor tonight so I ended up doing that one by hand. It was messy and I had dinner going at the same time AND my Max was being really naughty. I am going to make myself do it tomorrow during nap time no matter how tired I am at that time.

I talked to my sis-in-law today and found out that she is going to watch Charlie on the 23rd of this month so I can go to my first class and Charles is going to watch Maxwell!! We thought we had it all planned out but Chas is in a wedding and they moved it up a week and it happens to be at the same time as my class and since it is the end of the month Dee has to work so I thought I was in big trouble. It is things like this that make me wonder if I am doing the right thing by going back to school while the kids are this little. As my first day of school gets closer I find myself doubting my ability to do this school thing and be a mom and a soccer coach and a chauffeur and all the other stuff I do on a daily basis. It seems to scary to be going to school at this age. I feel like I am going to be the old lady in a crowd of young kids. If it weren't for my hubby and his undying support I would probably chicken out right about now. I am so glad I have such a great set of in-laws or I would probably fail before I even began.

Well I am off to eat my ice cream. I pray tomorrow will be a better day. I read a great quote today that said "Don't worry about today because tomorrow it will just be a memory". I really enjoyed that and will remember that quote daily....or at least try to remember!

Acrobatics, Dogs, and Biting

2008-08-11T18:55:00.000-07:00

What a day it has been. Charlie did not sleep through the night and I was so tired this morning. Max woke up in a terrible mood and was a cranky boy all day. Luckily Catie got up pretty fast and we were on time for school. Thank God for small blessings.

So we got to Karen's house and of course Max was afraid of the dogs and HAD to scream when we got there and his scream is enough to make me want to scream. I got everyone settled in and fed and then I got to cleaning. I guess I was making more noise than usual because Grandmother got up earlier than she normally does and we were off to the races! Max loves when she wakes up because he knows it is time for him to eat his yogurt and play. Today he decided to pretend to be a dog and bless Grandmothers heart, she played right along with Max. He crawled around like a dog and she pet him and totally played long with him and it was adorable.

We got home and as we walked in the door Max grabbed his blanket and bobby and headed upstairs and put himself down for a nap. It was really cute and impressive! Charlie took a good nap as well and I got a little done around the house. I had to get the boys up at 2 so that we could get ready to get Catie from school and go to acrobatics.

I tried to get Max excited about acro but it is hard to explain to a 2 year old what that is exactly. I told him he was going to do flips and he got excited and started saying he was going to go to "slips"! So we get Catie from school and fly over to the studio. What a disaster. Max freaked out when I took his shoes off and REFUSED to even go in the room. Catie tried to take him in there and I went in and sat which is frowned upon but nothing worked. He finally went in the room but only to roll down the ramps mats and didn't want anything to do with that class. Needless to say we un-enrolled him in acrobatics. Catie did very well in her class and I was impressed at how much she stood out from the other kids. She is really talented and I wished she would take it more seriously. We are pushing her in acrobatics because it helps her with sports and I think that a strong body is important when playing soccer or softball. If just one part of her is strong then she could damage the weaker parts and acro seems to strengthen every part of her body. Her muscles are long and lean and her upper body strength is great.

I got the call tonight from the head coach of our soccer team. He failed to show up at the meeting Sunday and so he had no information on the team or anything else. Good thing his trusty Assistant Coach was there and got all the info instead. So we talked and set up our practices and I guess Assistant in Soccer means "ALL THE WORK"!! I called all the parents and let them know when practice was and none of them liked the time so I had to veto the head coach and change the time to a little later in the evening. I am in for a real treat this season and I hope Catie gets how hard it is to coach and how much I love her to be doing this for her!!! It is so out of my comfort zone but it is good to connect with other parents and its a great opportunity for Catie to meet new friends. The only problem I have with coaching soccer is that there is no profanity. I am in BIG trouble on that one. I do understand the rule though!!

Our house is loud all the time and so I went outside to call these soccer parents and as I am on the phone with this very unpleasant father I hear all the kids start to cry. LOUD CRYING! I then heard Chas inside yelling and I continued to sit on that front step. I was not in the mood for the drama that my kids cause in the evening. Next thing I know Catie is outside crying and I hear Max screaming his head off inside. Charlie sounded like he was going to explode because he was crying so hard. SO I get off the phone and start with Catie. I asked her what happened and why was she crying. Max hauled off and bit her for no reason other than to be mean. I looked at her back where he got her and there was a huge bite mark and it was pretty bad. Max was crying because he got into a TON of trouble for biting Catie and Charlie was crying because all the kids crying scared him. It was nuts and I was glad when everyone got to bed.

Chas went to bed early and I stayed up with Charlie and watched a movie. I have to say Tyler Perry is one of my favorite writers and I have seen almost all of his movies. I LOVED Diary of a Mad Black Woman and Medea's Family reunion. I got Why Did I get Married the other day from our free trial with Netflix and it has been a movie I have been really wanting to see. The movie came last week and I have been trying to find a quiet moment to watch it and last night proved to be the first time in a week that it was quiet. Tyler Perry has a way of making you laugh, and then get angry, and then you cry, and just when you think you can't take anymore you get a shock and all you can do is laugh and then the ending is so wonderful and inspirational that you cry again. That movie was wonderful and I would love to own it one day. Tyler Perry has a real talent of adding God into his plays that makes it comfortable and not preachy or over bearing. I also have another one of his movies that I am going to watch the next time it gets quiet!

Sonic, Soccer, and other Observations

2008-08-10T14:09:00.001-07:00

Aunt Em feeding Charlie the other day

What a weekend this has been! It has seemed to have been non-stop and while it has been a blast I have gotten nothing done that needed to be taken care of!

Saturday we went to Walmart with Dee (MIL), April (SIL), Bailey, Ashley, Chas, our 3 kids, and Aunt Myrna. Talk about a cluster! It was nutso but we found some awesome deals and Catie walked out with about 6 dresses, a bunch of short, a bathing suit (for next year), a new leotard for acro tomorrow, and a pair of black church shoes. Max walked out with 4 pairs of shoes and a new outfit and Charlie got a new outfit and TONS of kisses from Nana and Aunt April. I was shocked to find out that Max has moved out of the baby shoe aisle and he is now in the big boy shoes. It was a huge milestone for us since he wasn't growing at all last year. He got a pair of size 7 Thomas the Train light up shoes! I am not a fan of character clothing but everytime we have gone into Walmart he seems to find those shoes and we found them in his size yesterday and Nana got them for him. He is VERY proud of those shoes!

After we got home the boys were laid down for a nap and Chas got ready to go the Tennessee Titans football game!!! He was so excited and I am glad he got to go with his dad. I waited until the boys woke up and then I went over to Dee's house where I hung out with the kids for a bit and Aunt April showed up with the girls and loved on my boys while the girls played around. I left there and went to Sonic where I was in for quite the shock! I pulled in and it looked like a party going on! There were cars parked with fold out chairs behind them and the whole patio of Sonic was full of teenagers. Young teenagers. It was 10:30 at night! They all had REALLY nice phones and cars and these were definitely the "popular" kids. I watched them for a minute remembering how uncomfortable these same kind of kids used to make me feel and I noticed this girl sitting right outside the group and I watched. It was painfully obvious this girl was not part of the popular crowd but she still sat there waiting for someone to speak to her or include her so that she could be a part of this blessed group of teens. These popular kids always seemed to have it all and I used to be so jealous and uncomfortable. They had this look about them and no matter what they wore they always looked popular. I still find myself in awe of this group to this day and will probably not go to my 10 year reunion because of the fear of these people. I was a band geek and wanted to be included so badly in this group but somewhere inside of me there was this knowledge that I would never fit in no matter how hard I tried. So I sat there last night watching this girl who was awkward and didn't have the "look" or lots of money and I felt so badly for her. She looked so sad sitting there all alone and I wanted to get out of the van and go tell her that these people are no better than her and that one day we will all be equals as adults. I wish I believed that myself.

This morning I woke up feeling unusually refreshed and it took me a minute to figure out why I felt so good. CHARLIE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!! First time ever and it was a miracle! As if life couldn't get any better, Max slept until 8:30 this morning and was happy!!! We decided to go eat our once a month special coupon all you can eat breakfast buffet and it was pretty good. Max has decided that he wants to have a say in everything so after a small battle at the fruit station we ate in peace. We met up with Dee at the Outlet Mall and went to the Reebok store. Chas has a HUGE foot and it is so hard to find shoes for him but for some reason Reebok has his size. He got 2 pairs of shoes and I got a pair of plain white comfy reeboks! It was buy 2 get 1 free which is a deal we get once a year. After that Dee and I went to the bra store. I got measured for a bra and was shocked to find out I have gone up a TON of cup sizes and was then depressed to find that there are no pretty bras for a DDD.....I was lucky and did find a comfy basic bra that is quite wonderful. I also got one of those body shaper tops that smooths and tucks and I was quite pleased with the results. I then went to a meeting for Soccer Coaches and got my packet for my team. I was so excited I actually got a coaches jersey!! It was a shining moment in my life as a mom.

Well I am off to Walmart to get food for the week and run some other errands while Chas is out mowing dads yard. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day! Chas starts his second job and Max starts acrobatics for the first time ever and Catie starts her 4th year of acro. I am nervous for Max and hope he does well. We have never really put any limitations on him with his feeding tube and I don't plan on doing that unless we find something he can't do b/c of the tube. We shall see how he does tomorrow and I will have pics to post of this HUGE milestone in his life.

More Jars of Clay

2008-08-09T22:19:00.000-07:00

More of Steve......how can you resist that smile!

The girls: Bailey, Ashley, and Catie

Lead singer Dan

Chas not knowing that I was taking his picture

Jars of Clay and other goodies

2008-08-08T20:45:00.001-07:00

So it is almost 11:00pm and I am SO tired! We got to go see Jars of Clay this evening and it was so much fun! I love to go see bands that are cool with fans taking pictures and allow their fans to be right at the stage and don't have a TON of security and require you to pay $10 to get a 4x6 shot of themselves. Jars of Clay has to be the most down to earth band I have ever met (yes I have met them about 6 years ago) and the sweetest group of guys you could ever want to be around. There was no assigned seating and my mom in law insisted we get there early so we could get seats. Early bird gets the worm! We waited in line for 30 minutes before the gates opened and then it was off to the best seats! We sat right up front and had the best view ever! It was a great concert and Max was very well behaved which was a shock to all of us! After the concert Catie, Chas, Charles, and Ashley stayed for the baseball game and Dee, Bailey, Max, and I headed home to get a bite to eat. I was going to stay for the game but Max's behavior at that point was unpredictable and I didn't feel right leaving him with Dee and I really wanted to see my Charlie who was with Aunt April. So here are the pics. I am so tired and I will tell more about the concert tomorrow. It is late and we have a busy Saturday ahead of us and I need some sleep. I am thinking it is sports weekend! Tomorrow is the start of Pre-Season football and Chas and his daddy are going to the game. Chas is very excited! Lots of sports in 24 hours!!!

Catie and my nieces Ashley and Bailey with the lead singer Dan

The girls and Max waiting in line

Max...don't you love the busted lip! That happened yesterday........

The lead singer Dan

My very favorite of them all and based on the sheer magnitude of pictures taken by myself and Ashley it is obvious we both have a small crush on Steve....what can I say, I have a thing for hairy arms....sigh....

Catie and Max using the Balloon as a drum

Sleepy Boys and books

2008-08-08T12:57:00.000-07:00

My Maxwell is too darn funny! So last night he fell asleep in Charlie's bouncy seat all on his own! He was so cute and when he is sleeping like that I just want to snuggle him all night. It makes the bad day that we had seem to disappear. He is turning into such a mouthy monster. I was taking a nap on the couch the other day and Chas got onto Max and so Max (so much like his mother) mouthed off to his dad and I lifted my head up off the couch and told him to knock it off and be nice. Do you know what that little imp said to me???? He told me that I needed to go back to my pillow! GRRRR! He is such a smart mouth monster. Then today we were watching tv at Karen's and a commercial of that Vagasil testing kit came on the television and Max got very upset saying that he didn't want that stuff! We assured him he would never have to use it as long as he lived. Bless his heart.

Max asleep in Charlie's bouncy chair last night

Well after I got done at Karen's I went over to Gallatin to get my school books from the Textbook Brokers. If I would have bought my books at the bookstore on campus it would have cost me a fortune PLUS I don't have my leftover financial aide check as of now and there is no way I could buy my books out of pocket. So there is this bookstore across the street that is awesome! Not only do they sell the textbooks BUT they will hold your check until your financial aide comes through and then you go back and pay the bill or they just put it through your checking account. Well I didn't realize just how many books I needed until today. As the very young clerk went to go get my books he kept having to make trips back to the counter to drop them off and I watched this stack of books grow before my very eyes. The total came to $477.00 and I almost had a heart attack! At least the state is paying for it since I got that Federal Pell Grant. Thank goodness for that or I would be in lots of trouble. So now I have my books and backpack and pencils and notebook and I have to wait 2 more weeks! I feel like a kid starting school for the first time and I just can't wait. Im sure my tune will change once the homework rolls in and then I will not be as excited. My books are so pretty and colorful and filled with information to help me and my family have a great future. Unfortunately my hubby saw the receipt and forbid the kids to go anywhere near those books. Im suprised they are not under lock and key. I love him but he such a tight ass!

Here are all my books! English Comp 101, Law 100, Music Appreciation, Algebra, and Sociology 101

Well we are off to go to a baseball game tonight! The band Jars of Clay are playing before the game and my mother in law is a HUGE fan and so we all get to go see Jars of Clay perform and then Dee and Bailey and Ashley and Max are going back to Lebanon and Chas, his dad, Catie and myself are sticking around for the game. I will have lots of pics to post!!!

Karen's flowers

2008-08-07T15:14:00.000-07:00

Karen has a beautiful backyard as stated in the previous post and I love going out there! It rained last night and so this morning there was rain drops on the flowers and the colors were magnificent! I went out with my camera and got a couple of shots of her incredible flowers. I am clueless as to what everything is and don't really care to know. I just think they are beautiful.

This flower was such a pretty color but I have no idea what it would be!

This is my absolute favorite thing I saw today.....Im thinking about making it my background on my computer screen

These looked like little bouquets already made up!

I thought this was a neat-o birdhouse....there was a birds nest in it!

We had a rabbit once that used to eat the green parts of this flower right out of our hands! ***sigh***
Happy Memory

Trampolines and Hairbows

2008-08-07T14:54:00.000-07:00

I overslept this morning which started my day off a little hectic. My cell phone broke and I had to get a new one and I forgot to set my alarm in the new one and if Chas hadn't called me this morning I would have been REALLY late. I got everybody ready in record time and it was a red letter day! Catie wore a hair bow!!

I made her smile in this picture

I asked her what she thought of the bow in this picture

So the day went as follows.....Dropped Catie off at school, raced to Karen's house and fed the boys and took Max out to play outside for a bit while Charlie was asleep. We had great fun but ended up coming in pretty quick due to the terrible humidity. Karens backyard is so beautiful and I love going out there. She has a great green thumb and I am SO jealous! The only thing I manage to keep alive are my kids! Max played on the trampoline and got on the swing and had a big old time! He didn't like the trampoline that much. He is such a funny kid and will probably want to get on the trampoline tomorrow and will love it and I will have to drag him off it with him kicking and screaming. No one really prepares you for boys. I love my boys but they are too much some times!

Max not being happy on the trampoline

Mr. Max loving the swing!

Max and Charlie crawling around while grandmother ate breakfast

Emily called today and said she was in town and so she stopped by and we had "sissy time" and it was nice to see her! Catie came home and saw the car and was very excited and shocked at the same time! Em is so busy and rarely gets over this way and it has been a long time since she has been over here. Well I am off to goo cook dinner. We are having yummy chicken tetrazini!! I can't wait to go to the farmers market this weekend and get some yummy veggies for us to eat. I am about tired of fresh frozen. They are okay and they work in a pinch but nothing beats the real thing!!!

2008-08-05T17:18:00.000-07:00

My little man has been in such a weird mood today. He woke up at 2:00 this morning and refused to go back to sleep. I was so tired and wanted to sleep but not Charlie! He wanted to play. I tried to nurse him and get him to go back to bed but he wasn't having it at all!! Chas finally woke up at the point that I was on the verge of tears and he took him downstairs. I am really good about being up with Charlie at night and I have never asked Chas in all 5 1/2 months of Charlie's little life to ever be up at night with him. I think that since Chas works all day and I am blessed to be at home that I should be the one to be up at night. Well last night I had had enough. I have been pretty sleep deprived since Charlie was born and last night I was at my breaking point. So Chas got up with him and took him downstairs around 3am and played with him for about 20 minutes and then put Home Improvement on the tv and Charlie, just like his daddy, fell asleep watching that show. I was able to get some sleep and I felt so much better today because of that glorious uninterrupted sleep. Have I mentioned what a great hubby I have???

Max was in a mouthy mood today and wanted to talk back ALL day. He has discovered that the word bull shit rolls off the tongue pretty nicely and he has decided to use it whenever he sees fit. He doesn't ever use it in the right context but when he does use it I laugh so hard. I know, I know, that is the wrong thing to do but it is just about the funniest thing I have ever heard. He even says it slowly and drawn out and with that little lisp of his it is just too cute. I am going to be better tomorrow and really discourage the use of that word.

Catie is grounded for lying and I hate having her grounded! That means no pool time and it just isn't fun without Catie at the pool. She is ungrounded tomorrow and I can't wait. I wish she would just stay out of trouble. Unfortunately she takes after me and will remain in trouble with someone at all times of her life for the rest of her life. I always manage to have someone mad at me for something I said or did and I suppose I gave that to Catie. I finally learned that other people opinions of me are none of my business and unless I go out of my way to hurt someone's feelings then oh well. I can't deal with other people's drama. I just can't believe she lied about something as stupid as a basket of clothes. Oh my little Catie, when will she ever learn?

Well I am on a mission to make sure Charlie stays up until 10:00 tonight so I can get some sleep. That being said I am off to go play with my Monkey Man!

This is a video of Max saying the "bad" word. I know it is bad but it really is funny.

The dreaded evil bottle

2008-08-04T19:16:00.000-07:00

I hate bottles. I think they are gross, nasty little vessels of grime and germs and I loathe them. That being said, Max uses bottles. About 3 months ago the doctors changed the formula that goes in his feeding tube and while it is working great for him, it is so much more work for us! His old formula was ready to eat in a can and all we had to do was pop a top and pour it in the tube. He developed an allergy to the hypo-allergenic formula (go figure) and lost weight and took a couple steps backwards in his development. So they gave us another formula that is so hypo allergenic that if he is allergic to this stuff he is in trouble! It comes in cans of powder that we have to mix up ourselves. We have to mix it in bottles and it is such a hassle! The regular directions for mixing the formula do not apply to Max and we had to do some pretty serious math to figure out the right calorie per ounce configurations but we got finally figured it out after a lot of trial and error. So now we have bottles. LOTS of bottles and everyday I remind myself of the reasons I breastfeed. Put aside the obvious nutritional benefits and all that.....my baby would starve because I could never find a bottle. We lose them all the time and cleaning them when I do find them is such a pain in the neck! So to all those moms who say hats off to the breastfeeding moms because they think it is difficult, my hat goes off to you! Formula feeding is tough and I don't see how you make all those bottles on a daily basis AND keep up with them!! Way to go!!

For the record, this is not a post debating breast milk vs formula. It is truly a mothers perspective on both sides of the issue.

Avacados and Doggie Doors

2008-08-04T14:04:00.000-07:00

Today was almost uneventful and it was quite nice! I made it to Karens this morning on time and sweet little grandmother got up all on her own! I cleaned a little and she kept trying to help me. Note to self.....clean while she is still asleep.

Max got stuck in the doggie door this morning and it was too funny! I made him get out on his own and he wasn't terribly traumatized and ended up laughing at himself.

Charlie got avocados for the first time today and LOVED them. He generally doesn't like veggies but really enjoyed the avocados I fixed for him. I will have to buy more for him since he liked them so much.

I got the kitchen put back together and really hope that maintenance comes by to fix our oven. Our garbage disposal broke and our kitchen was taken over by little fruit flys. I had to clean out the cabinets and bleach everything to get rid of them. Once you get one they multiply and will carry you off in your sleep.

I'm off to fix dinner and we are hoping to get everything done for the evening so that we can take the kids swimming!!

The weekend

2008-08-03T15:58:00.000-07:00

What a weekend!! It is 6:00 on Sunday and I am ready for bed. Our weekends generally start on Friday's 3 times a month since Chas doesn't have to work those Fridays and we hit the ground running!

We went to dinner at Chas's parents house Friday evening and I am happy to report that the Pot Roast was quite tender and yummy! Dee made mac and cheese (for Max), butternut squash, corn, rolls, and Cinnamon apples. It was so good and I really enjoy going over to their house. I couldn't ask for better inlaws and the kids couldn't ask for better grandparents. They always have a blast and I know Dee and Charles enjoy having the kids around in small doses. Max and Catie seem to feed off each other and tend to get a little wild but they still stay within the realms of good behavior. We left there and took the kids to Maggie Moos for a nice treat. We got Charlie and Max banana ice cream and they loved it! Poor little Charlie is having a time with this teething stuff and has been so fussy here lately. The ice cream seemed to help quite a bit. We all came home and piled into bed.

Saturday we were terribly lazy! We got our van back and were happy to find out that it was just a battery and was a quick and easy fix. We went to Wal-Mart and enjoyed a few benefits of our tax-free weekend. I got a couple tops for school which is nice and I bought lots of fruits and veggies for Charlie. I spent about $10 on fresh produce and made a TON of baby food! When we got home I got started on that fun task. I made him mangos and bananas, sweet potatoes, squash, zuchinni, and cantaloupe. He loves everything but the squash and zucchini but who can blame him! I only eat it with onion and bacon cooked with it but he is too little to eat it like that. I bought him an avocado as well but I don't think it is ripe so it is sitting on the counter getting ready to be made into babyfood. After I got done with all that I got a phone call from my sister in law telling me she had the pictures I wanted and that I had something that she wanted! She LOVES Charlie and has been dying to get her hands on him!! I went over to Dee's house and visited with them for a bit and watched Charlie get loved on for a good little bit. April bought him the cutest outfit and some sunglasses! He is such a cutie in them and I was shocked to see that the outfit she got him was a 12m size and that it would probably fit him. He is SOOOO long that very few things fit him right now. He is already in a size 3 shoe at 5 months old! Max wasn't in that size until well over a year old. Poor little Max is pushing 3 and just got into a size 7 shoe. He got that from me! I am pretty sure Charlie got his big feet from his daddy (size 19 shoe) and I know for sure he got the height from him as well. Catie ended up going home with Aunt April and Baily and Ashley for an impromptu sleepover.

Last night Chas and I reached a HUGE milestone with Max and we are SO proud of ourselves. We noticed that Max's tube had been leaky and loose for some time now and knew we needed to suck it up and change it ourselves. We normally wait until we have a Vandy appointment and let someone there change it out but we knew to some degree it was time. We have been very lucky with Max in that his tube has never busted or come out on its own. So we got out the new tube and the water and some lubricating stuff and took a deep breath and went for it! We were a success and very proud of ourselves and maybe a little weak in the knees. It was a HUGE adrenaline rush but after it was over it made me a little ill to think about the whole thing. It is never an easy thing to see a hole in your child's stomach. Lucky for us his tummy was empty so there was nothing leaking out. Needless to say his tube is in and it looks great and WE DID IT!!!

Today was lovely because Chas let me sleep in until after 11:00!! I felt refreshed and very spoiled. I got in the shower and got ready for the day and we headed out on a mission. We HAVE to find a new place to live. This morning our neighbor knocked on our door at 7:45 and when we didn't answer the door she beat on our windows. You know what she wanted?? She wanted to see if she could use one of our old phones. Seriously?? Chas let her in and she came up and climbed in my bed to wake me up to see if I knew where an old phone might be located. I just looked at her and rolled over and went back to sleep. SOOOO, we went looking for a place to live. We didn't have lots of luck and had to end our mission short to go eat at Chas's parents house for his dad's birthday. It was lots of fun and Dee made my very favorite! Chicken and Rice!!!! She made it for me when I was pregnant and had a bad gallbladder. Today was the first time I have eaten it since I had my gallbladder taken out and I have to admit I loaded it up with butter. It was so good and just what I needed in the way of comfort food. Did I mention I am terribly blessed to have her as a mom in law??

We are home now and about to take the kids swimming for awhile before bed. Tomorrow starts another crazy week and I will need some rest to get through it all in one piece!

Charlie and the juice

2008-08-01T15:59:00.000-07:00

Max decided that he wanted to give Charlie a bottle of juice. It was his first juice and Max felt like he was getting away with something. Everyone is happy!

Boring Boring day

2008-08-01T15:41:00.000-07:00

So today wasn't so bad. It was uneventful and calm (to a degree) and just sort of nice. No word on the van yet and we are anxiously waiting to hear what is wrong and how much it is going to cost. We did go look at a house for rent and while it was a nice house it is a little smaller than what we have now and quite a bit more expensive. I hate to move into a house and spend all that money when we are planning on buying a house next year. PLUS the lady wasn't keen on us having 3 kids. We went while Catie was in school and so we just had the boys. She said she didn't like to rent to people with more than 2 kids and I told her we had another child that was in school. She wasn't pleased about it and to add insult to injury I asked if she would evict us if we got pregnant and had another child. She made it abundantly clear that she didn't want to rent this house to someone with 4 kids. She said it was too crowded. I believe that is illegal AND just as wrong as not renting to someone because of their skin color. I need to check my law books and see. Isn't that a part of Equal Housing Opportunity. Kind of annoyed me. I then let her know that we go to church with one of her bosses and her tune changed a little. I hate living in the apartment and want to get out ASAP! We have terrible neighbors and our kids can't play outside without the threat of getting hit by a car. Our oven broke 3 weeks ago and no one has come to fix it as of today. I would love to find a little house that will suit our needs for the next year. When we do buy a house I pray it is out in the boonies! I am SO tired of neighbors and all their drama. Last summer when my cousin Woli and her hubby and kids came to the area they stopped by to pick up Catie for the evening. It was around 8:00pm and there were kids everywhere! Woli's son asked if there was a parade because it was so crazy outside. That is our life. Winter is the only time around here when it remains somewhat calm.

Well we are off to eat at the inlaws! I cooked a pot roast and I think because it is supposed to go to my mother in laws house for dinner it is going to be tough. Isn't that the way it goes. I guess the pot roast doesn't know what a great mother in law I have and that she won't care one bit that the roast is tough! : )

GRRRRRR..................

2008-07-31T17:42:00.000-07:00

All I can say about today is GRRRRR!!!!!!!!! The day started off well enough. I was able to get Catie to school on time and report to Karen's. Max was in a pleasant enough mood and Charlie slept most of the morning. It was going well.

I got home around 1:00 after getting Chas's paycheck and going to the bank. Max laid down for his nap, Kristen watched TV while I took a shower, and Charlie slept in his car seat upstairs. I got ready in 20 minutes flat (love the new hair!) and waited for Karen to get Kristen.

Karen came to get Kristen and sat with Max until Chas got home and I ran out the door with Charlie to the bus stop to get Catie. We headed over to the doctor and Catie had her stitches removed and Charlie got diagnosed with Rosieola (sp?). Still not too bad until my phone died. It will not hold a charge and for Chas paid for it, I should be able to talk on it all day and not have it die by 3:00 in the afternoon. The thing that really pissed me off was that I barely talked on it all day. After we left the Dr I dropped the kids off at home and headed over to Verizon Wireless to get the phone fixed. That is when the trouble started. They replaced the phone and I am now waiting to get the new one. I leave with my spirits high and get in my van to go home. I put the key in the ignition and turn it and......................nothing. It was dead. I wasn't in the store but 20 minutes. I called Chas and he comes up to jump start it and it still doesn't start. It appears to be the starter. Long story short we had it towed to our mechanic who can't get to it until Saturday and now we are sharing 1 car. Thank God Chas is off work tomorrow.

Charlie is screaming, Catie is mad because the pool is closed and she can't go swimming after having her stitches out, and Max is melting down faster than a candle in a hot room. I suppose it is time to get off here and go back to the reality that is our life. It all seems crazy today but tomorrow it won't seem so bad. I hope.

Cats! and Dogs! and Crabs!!! OH MY!

2008-07-30T14:13:00.000-07:00

The morning started out a little hectic since Catie got to bed so late without a shower! It took forever to drag her out of bed and then actually get her into the shower and drag her back out! She got the "I hate mornings" thing from me because I hate mornings. Since she got her new haircut I have to blow her hair dry so it doesn't dry all wonky and even though it only takes 5 minutes to fix her hair, we had 15 minutes before we had to walk out the door and the boys weren't dressed. I got Charlie dressed and woke Max up (bad way to start his day) and we ran out the door. Poor Max didn't even have shoes on his feet!

She made it to school on time and I got to Karen's house to sit with grandmother and Kristen and as I was getting the boys out of the van she was running out the door. I hauled the boys up the front steps and opened the door and the dogs greeted us with happiness! Max greeted them back with a howl and started to cry. For some reason he doesn't like dogs right now. He wouldn't come in the house until I got the dogs away from the door. Mind you these are small dogs. Trying to hold the door open with one hand and hold the car seat and get Max in the house while holding back dogs is no small chore and I was tired before I even got everyone in the house.

Max went to go wake up Kristen (much to her annoyance) and I pulled him out of there and went to feed Charlie. Max settled in the floor to play with a toy and low and behold the cat came waltzing in and started messing with Max. The cat ran its tail under Max's nose and rubbed on his shirt and my little "Don't touch me" boy freaked out! I chased the cat away while still feeding Charlie and calmed Max down. Talk about multi-tasking!!

Finally Kristen woke up and came in to play with Max. They decided to go play in her room and since she is almost 6 I let them play in her room while I got Charlie changed and set for the day. I went in to check on them about 20 minutes later and saw them huddled around this baby doll diaper and went to investigate. God Bless! It was a hermit crab. I HATE CRABS! Kristen was okay with getting it out of its cage since it was still in its shell but Im guessing crabs like diapers and he climbed on out of that shell and no one wanted to put it away. Gross. I went in the kitchen and found some tongs and gingerly picked up the crab (which wanted to hold on to the diaper for dear life) and placed him back in his cage. I was totally grossed out. Here lately things like poop and vomit and crabs and things that are scaly or slimy make me quite sick to my stomach. Having 2 boys means that I have way more of things like that to come so I hope I get over it pretty fast. The tongs went it the sink and by that time it was time to wake up Grandmother. She didn't get up willingly and it took a few tries but we were successful. Karen came home for lunch and after Grandmother was fed and medicated I headed out the door with the boys and Kristen.

When we got home Max got a nap, Charlie got fed and laid down, and while Kristen watched TV I took a much needed "nap". When you have this many kids you don't really get to take a nap. More like resting your eyes as my grandmother puts it so accurately. I know what is going on and who is doing what and I'm never quite asleep. I get just enough rest to recharge my batteries (which seem to be draining quickly these days) and hopefully finish my day.

Catie had a good day at school and got on the right bus today! Yay!!! Chas had a decent day and is grateful that Greg is back from Aruba. Only one more work day left and we get to start our always hectic weekend! We are headed to the Farmers Market on Saturday after my coaches meeting for soccer. There is a great park (free) that is by the Market and it has this really neat spot where water shoots out of the ground. Catie and Max should have a blast. Sunday is reserved for mowing mom's yard and I think we are working on dad's yard as well. Fun times! Chas loves to mow so it is a nice break for him although I wonder how he will feel about mowing after this weekend since it is supposed to be 98 degrees. What a guy!!

Yesterday was school....Today is work

2008-07-29T11:50:00.000-07:00

So Catie had the best day ever on her first day of school! After I left my crying child at school I called my friend Karen who we all adore and asked her if she would mind going to eat lunch with Catie. Not only did she show up for lunch but she brought Catie a Happy Meal! She thought she was hot stuff and I was relieved and grateful to Karen for helping make Catie's day better. I did get called to the school around 11:00 to take her some pain medicine for her chin and she seemed better even then! She made some new friends and had a pretty good day. Second grade is pretty tough and she brought home actual homework on the first day of school! We practiced her words for the spelling test on Friday and I was happy to see she is quite the speller!

Today was the first day of my new job and I really enjoyed it and look forward to going back tomorrow. It is so hard to be a stay at home mom and not have friends take you seriously. I am really tired of people telling me I live on easy street because I don't work and I stay home all day and I guess according to them I sit on my butt all day. Little do they know what really goes on around here every day. My starts as early as theirs and ends much later than theirs does and that is every day that they work. I am lucky enough to have a great husband who lets me sleep in until all of 8:00 on the weekends, maybe as late as 9:00 and I am so happy to have those extra hours. Keeping up with Max and Charlie is a full time job in itself! It isn't just about keeping the house clean or grocery shopping. Its about keeping up with Vanderbilt doctors and medicines and making baby food and keeping up with Max's appointments for his teacher to come and work with him once a week! I do alot and while our home is never neat and tidy and there is always laundry to be done, I play with my kids and make sure they feel loved and safe. I miss going to work everyday. At one point in time I had a great career and the potential to make great money. I traded in my business suits and briefcase for yoga pants and a diaper bag. I miss adult interaction and getting a paycheck every week. I don't get paid to do laundry or dishes. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom and I LOVE my kids with everything I have but I am just as tired at night as my husband and friends who go to work everyday. They all say that even though they work all day they come home and do family stuff and do my job at night. Just because it is 5:00 doesn't mean I clock out and stop. There is tons to do and granted I have Chas who is wonderful in the evening and really steps up to give me a break. I am working now in the mornings in addition to keeping up the stay at home mom stuff and coaching soccer and going to school fulltime and taking Catie and Max to gymnastics once a week. I am blessed to be working for a great women who I love to death and I am blessed to be able to take my boys with me and be 2 minutes from Catie's school. I am still tired! I do enjoy spending time with Grandmother and enjoy the adult interaction as limited as it may be some days.

So this afternoon Chas gets home from work around 2:30 and we sat and talked about our day and he headed off to the bus stop to get Catie from her first time EVER riding the school bus. I worried about that child all day and the fact that she was taking this huge step towards being more "grownup" as she puts it! So Chas calls me from the bus stop to ask me if Catie knew she was supposed to ride the bus and I answered yes I was sure she knew as a ball of fear hit my stomach. I immediately called Karen since she lived by the school and all I said was Catie wasn't on the school bus. She said she was on her way to the school and I hung up and called the school. Some lady answered the phone and here is how the conversation went:

"Byars Dowdy Elementary, can I help you?"

"Yes, my daughter wasn't on the bus"

"Is her name Candi?"
"No! It's Catie"
"Batcheler?"
"Yes thats her! Is she okay?"
"Yes, she got on the wrong bus"
"Come again? The WRONG BUS!"
"Yes ma'am, please hold"
...........(me on hold worrying and about to cry)...............
" This is Ms Blackburn, the principal, I have the bus driver on the radio"
"AND??????"
" Your daughter got on the wrong bus and we are trying to figure out where she is right now"
"Okay, where is she?????"
" The bus driver said he will drop her off at the bus stop in 15 minutes, please be waiting for her"
(Like Im going to sit on my couch and wait?? Yeah right)

I said thank you and headed out the door to walk to the bus stop and wait....and wait.....and wait.............

15 minutes later I see the bus coming up the street and I can see one little child sitting in the front and I suddenly wanted to cry. The bus stopped and off ran my Catie and she was so composed until she got into my arms and she totally lost it! She cried and cried and cried. She was so scared. I later learned she kept calm when she realized she was on the wrong bus and answered all the questions that were asked and didn't crack even a little. I was terribly proud of her and very upset with the school. I think it is a little irresponsible to expect a child who has never ridden the bus before to remember the bus number and find the bus and follow all the rules and regulations that comes with riding a bus. She was probably nervous as can be and it didn't help that another little girl told Catie to go on that bus just to be hateful. I am writing her bus number in her hand in permanent marker tomorrow to help her remember. I am grateful that a potentially bad situation had a happy ending and while I think the school was negligent in not helping a child to the bus that is not only a new student but a new bus rider, they handled the situation very well and Catie made it home safe and sound. Im glad to have her home safe and sound and pray she isn't traumatized forever.

Well I am off of here for tonight. Max threw up all of his dinner and feed and smells terrible and now Charlie is up in the bath tub screaming. Joy Joy Joy!

1st day of school

2008-07-28T06:39:00.001-07:00

Well my little sweet Catie started school today. She was not thrilled since she was going to a new school but she was very cooperative this morning. We got to school and as Max and Charlie and I walked her to her classroom we almost had to drag her since she was so scared. We got to her new room and we told her teacher about her lip and I got her out of PE for the week (that made her happy) and as we found her desk and were about to leave she melted down. The desks were in clusters of 5 and she was the only girl at the table. A combination of a new school, her busted lip, and the thought of sitting next to all boys was all too much to handle and she cried and made me feel terrible! She didn't cry her first day of kindergarten or even Pre-K but today was different. I almost wished she would have cried on her first day of Kindergarten but instead she skipped right in and went to work! It would have been easier to leave on that day with a crying child but the only person crying 2 years ago was myself. Leaving an older child at school was terrible! When they are little they quickly forget that you left and are so easily distracted. With a 7 year old they aren't so easy to manipulate. Her teacher moved a little girl named Emily next to her and I think that helped a little PLUS this Emily girl was very sweet and hugged Catie and talked to her about how scared she was when she started a new school. I always think of Catie as being this older child that takes on a lot of responsibility and I forget that she is still little. I left the room and hesitated to look back but did anyway and I saw her sweet little face and that new haircut and that fat lip and realized just how little she still is and it made my heart happy to know that I still have a little girl and not an older girl as I refer to her most of the time. I know she will shine in the 2nd grade and make lots of friends and bring joy to her teachers heart just like she has done every year for the last 3 years. I will still miss her during the day and watch the clock until she gets home just like I have done every year since she started school. No one seems to put in the books how hard it is to watch your child grow up! They talk about discipline and how to raise them but they don't tell you how to make your heart stop hurting when they do go out into the world as little people ready to learn and become who they are supposed to be. I have 6 hours to go until she gets home and I will watch the clock and look forward to her hug and excitement over the 2nd grade and her new school and all the new friends she made. I hope the time doesn't crawl by like a snail. I'm ready to hold my bug-a-loo!

Catie's mouth today!

2008-07-27T09:02:00.000-07:00

What a day!

2008-07-27T08:22:00.000-07:00

So Saturday started out as any other day. I got up and went and volunteered with mom and then we hit a yard sale and I came home. Max was in a great mood and his skin was so much better. Catie and I were counting down the time until we went to Aunt Em's fancy salon and Charlie was asleep. I threw some hot pockets in the microwave and Chas put Max down for his nap so that Catie and I could eat in peace. I was letting Catie eat in the living room so she could watch the Disney Channel and she got up to go get a drink and then it happened. I heard this loud crash and a blood curdling scream and knew whatever had happened was really bad. I ran into the kitchen and Chas was asking Catie what happened and then I saw all the blood. At first I just thought she tripped on her scooter that hadn't made it outside and cut her chin. There was blood everywhere! It was on her face, hand, neck, shirt, and she opened her mouth and there was a TON of blood in her mouth. I saw a bad cut on her chin and then saw this terrible cut inside of her mouth. I decided that with all the blood and the way she was screaming (not a normal scream of pain) that we needed to go to the ER pretty fast. I scooped her up with a towel and Chas helped me get her in the car. I flew to the ER and Chas got the boys covered and he came up soon after. Thank God the ER is less than 5 minutes from our apartment. Catie was still in her jammies and her hair was a wreck and she noticed it as we pulled into the ER and said through her pain that she was so embarrassed by her hair. We walked in and we got to skip ahead of everybody. When the doctor came in were we in for a shock! When Catie fell she bit ALL the way through her lip to the other side. Doc said she needed stitches and she came completely unglued. I guess when a child needs stitches it takes priority over most other people because it all moved pretty fast. It took 5 very strong adults to hold her down and numb the spot. She was so very upset and I cried as they held her down. They waited for the medicine to kick in and then started stitching her up! She was very brave for that part and I was very proud. In the middle of all the doctors coming in and out I got what happened out of my Catie. She went in the kitchen to get a drink in her socks and went "skating" across the floor like she always does ( this is news to me!) and crashed into the floor. She now has a very fat lip and stitches to start school tomorrow.

This was after we got home from the ER

When I got home Mom was here with the boys and we decided to all carpool to Brentwood to get our hair done (Catie's choice) and we left around 3:45 and got there an hour later. We expected to be home by 7 or 8 but had no luck with that goal! As Em cut my hair all off I freaked out because it wasn't looking like what I wanted and between that and the stress from earlier I totally melted down. Well my crying did nothing for Em's confidence and she started to cry. It was very dramatic. My hair is now very short and platinum blond. I LOVE IT! I feel like I look so much younger!Mom's turned out so cute and she looks very stylish! Catie looks like an angel despite her fat lip and stitches. I had Em cut all her hair off to help make her bangs look better. Catie's dad showed up and we all got to enjoy the antics of John Batcheler for a bit but it made Catie happy and that is all that mattered. Poor Chas had both boys all by himself for HOURS! We didn't get home until after midnight!! We did have a great visit with Em and she did our hair after the salon closed so we got to eat and hang out and relax and not behave. I was thrilled to get home since it had been hours and hours since I had nursed Charlie and boy did I hurt! I nursed him and he was SOOOO happy to see me!! Its nice to have someone in your life light up like that when you walk in the room! Chas LOVED the hair and I was thrilled!!

This is her before hair!

So this morning Catie's lip in HUGE and looks so gross! She is having a hard time eating but being a good sport. She keeps telling us that a brownie would make it feel better! I suppose I should give in a little!! I have tons of pictures to post and they will follow or be in another post.

I hope today is better!!
This is her gorgeous after shot!

A better morning

2008-07-26T10:20:00.001-07:00

Max looking a lot better today and seemed to be in a better mood

Max and Charlie are starting to play and Max insisted on showing him how to work the toy

Poor Mr. Max

2008-07-25T20:48:00.000-07:00

My little Max is having a bad day. He woke up this morning with a mild breakout on his face and while we were concerned we weren't really worried since he wakes up sometimes looking kinda rough. He was a little fussy but not bad and we went on about our day. He went down for his nap and woke up even worse. We chalked it up to the change in weather we had today and gave him his medicine and decided to go swimming. Normally the chlorine in the water will help dry up his skin. Not today. After the pool his skin still looked bad. We went to my in laws to eat dinner and after dinner we (Chas, Max, Catie, and myself) all started rolling around in the carpet and rough housing a little. I noticed that he was looking even worse and by 10:00 tonight he looked horrible. He had hives on his arms and legs and his little face was so broken out and hot to the touch. He cried all the way home and totally fell apart during his feed. We got him upstairs to get him in his jammies and to put his special medicine on him for times like this and he was so miserable.

It is times like tonight that I am not sure what to do anymore. This disease is so baffling and there are times that I wish he had cancer or something that had a treatment or even a department at the Children's Hospital. I know that sounds bad but his disease can go to his organs and bone marrow and could cause death. We don't think about that but at some level we have come to accept this as being one of the effects of this disease. Everyday is such a battle and on some days we win a battle and have a small victory but then we wake up to days like this and we realize that there is still a war to fight. He itches all the time and is miserable. The doctors are baffled and don't really know what to do anymore. It is so hard to see your child in so much pain on a daily basis. It is also very hard on Catie who is learning to walk on egg shells when Max gets a flare up since everyone tends to be stressed and grouchy. She is so sweet with Max when he is like this and asked us tonight what would we do if he stopped breathing. We told her we would have to call an ambulance and give him his special shot. It sucks that this is a reality for us and that our 7 year old knows that this could happen.

Well I am off to bed. Saturday is a BIG day for us! Catie and I are doing some volunteer work with mom and after that Catie and I get to go to Aunt Em's fancy salon and get our hair cut to start school. I am thinking something very short and very blond. I will post before and after pictures tomorrow. I am terribly excited and I need that after a day like today!

Second Grade?!?!?!?!

2008-07-24T19:28:00.001-07:00

Where did my little baby Catie go? We went tonight to her new school for her to meet her teacher and see where she was going on Monday morning. She is in the second grade and I am in total shock. The teacher spoke with us about everything they would be learning this year and WOW!!! They are learning cursive and multiplication and division and FRACTIONS!! They are starting Social Studies and have actual books and real grades this year. Last year everything was graded on a scale of 1-5 and now they are getting actual grades. They are even having spelling tests and math tests. I hope I can keep up with her studying as well as my own school work. We were blessed for Catie to get the teacher we wanted and we are thrilled! We have known this woman since 1990 when we moved here and she is a member of our church. Catie has a lot of learning anxiety and Mrs. Barnes taught 1st grade for years, so she is prepared to go backwards if Catie needs some extra help remembering everything they crammed into her head last year. She was the top reader in her class last year and had a real talent for math so I am hoping her transition into the 2nd grade AND a new school goes well for my Catie bug.

After the school function we took Catie to Subway to let her get a $5 footlong and she had a blast picking out everything she wanted on her sandwich! She got the oven roasted chicken sandwich and thought she was hot stuff because we let her get white bread instead of wheat. We got home and Max was in a ripe mood. We left him with the neighbor because Caties new school isn't ready for the "beast". He had a rough day and his skin is a big oozy mess! I went to fix Charlie his dinner and Max wanted it instead and I am in no mood to argue tonight so Max ate fresh peaches and rice cereal. Poor Charlie had to wait until I could fix his dinner. He was starving and didn't even mind that he got peas instead of his yummy peaches. I make all my own baby food and my babies have to wait until I warm up their "ice cube" of food and it isn't always pleasant. I am bidding on some baby food containers on eBay so that I can retire the ice cube trays and have a more portable solution for the baby food since Charlie spends a lot of time at Chas's moms house. She loves our little monkey man and always wants to keep him for us!! His dad loves Max more than I could have ever imagined and so they are wonderful about keeping the boys so we can get stuff done. It is amazing how much faster we accomplish tasks around town if we don't have to lug a baby seat in and out of the store. We are blessed to have such great parents that help out when we really need it!!

Well all my boys are crashed out and I have to give Charlie his bath and talk Max into bed and read him his story and talk my hubby into coming up to bed. He loves to watch TV downstairs and then falls asleep and doesn't come up to bed. We have SOOO much to do tomorrow. We are going to dad's to pick blueberries and we have been promising to take the kids to the club to go swimming. Tomorrow will be another busy fun filled day! Thank goodness Chas is off work tomorrow!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Funny things Max said today....

"Whats in Mommy's tummy Max?"
"Mcdonalds mommy"
"What else Max?"
"Kroger's mommy"
"Anything else Max?"
" Yes mommy.....ice keem!"

I love my little man

I Miss Hair Bows

2008-07-24T11:55:00.000-07:00

Catie is no longer my sweet little girl who likes to wear bows. Actually she never really liked bows but wore them because I made her (she was only little!) and she looked so sweet. She is now 7 and has an opinion about everything including her clothes and hair. She cut her hair not too long ago and gave herself a mini mullet. It was a disaster and I was able to put some girly bows and barrettes in her hair to help it look better. She then discovered the joy or headwraps and refuses to let me fix it anymore. I know I could totally over rule her decision to boycott bows but I do believe in giving your children an option to some degree. She has become such a tomboy here lately and is into softball and soccer and the days of ballet are over. She doesnt really like pink and I cant shop for clothes for her unless she is with me because she hates everything I like these days. In our area it seems like the really big clip bows are a status symbol and while I don't want her to wear them for that reason I would like her to wear them none the less. I suppose there comes a time when you have to boycott your kids on some things and this may be the time that I boycott her and the issue of no bows. You win some and you lose some. I may be losing this battle but I am going to fight my hardest. I see bargaining in our future!

The good old days of bows!

Spaghetti Dinner from Tuesday night

2008-07-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

Last nights spaghetti dinner all over Max, he started to cry b/c the sauce got into his sores

Charlie Chan the Monkey Man even got into the Spaghetti fun

My sweet Catie Home at last!

My sweet Bug is home

2008-07-23T19:36:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days that happens once in a blue moon! Maxwell was very well behaved and the most pleasant child to be around. It must be a full moon or something. He sat in front of the TV and watched Elmo and Barney while I worked on school stuff. My Law 102 class was canceled for this semester and I had to do some fast thinking and I needed him to be good for me while I was doing that fun activity. I was able to get into a Law 100 class which is okay but that Law 102 class was only 5 weeks and way more conducive with our schedule. My new class is all semester and on a night that isn't perfect but will work for us as of now. I was able to get 3 of my 5 classes online and only have to go to the college for 2 of my classes which will be very nice. I am really looking forward to starting school in August and there is something about going back as an adult that makes me more excited than anyone can understand. Chas has been so very supportive and has pushed me into school. He stayed on top of me getting my financial aid and making sure I followed through with my goals. I think my excitement is contagious since he helped me get some school supplies tonight.

I wasn't able to get much done around the house because Charlie was being very fussy. It would be so nice to have both boys be well behaved for one day so I could get more done but I'm not looking for that to happen anytime soon.

Catie got home tonight and I was so excited to see her sweet face. She kept saying how much she missed us and we had a great conversation at dinner. In honor of her coming home we let her have a store bought pot pie which is one of her favorites. She left her bathing suit at Granny and PopPops and I had to run up to KMart and get her another one. The one I had gotten her at the beginning of summer had a longer top to help hide her tummy but I wasn't lucky enough to find one of those. I got her this striped number with a rhinestone "bling" on the belt and the top was one of those triangle tops. It was very cute and I was convinced she would like it more than the other suit she lost. She tried it on and was SOOOO excited and told me she thought I was going to get her a "decent" bathing suit! We all went swimming and now everyone seems to be melting down around me! Max is insisting on eat a peach and Chas has to go to the store for an ice cream run and Max seems to be convinced we are going to McDonalds. He is in for a shock in about 10 minutes.

Max and Chas go to Kroger quite a bit each week and while they always come back with stuff we need, I think they go to get away from Charlie man and Catie and of course me! When they walk into Kroger it is like Cheers. Everyone knows Max and if they don't say hello to him he yells at them until they come over and speak with him. He is too cute these days and makes me laugh all the time. The stuff that comes out of his mouth still blows my mind. It shocks me that a year ago all he did was cry and we were trying so hard to get him back on track. These days he seems more advanced in vocabulary than most 2 year olds I see and needs to be on a sitcom. He is SOOOO funny. I need to start writing down the things he says because I seem to forget what he says by bedtime.

I am sorry this is such a rambling post but so much has happened today and my mind is jumbled. I hope that writing this blog will help me with my English Lit class! It always sounds good in my head but I have such a hard time putting it on paper.

Well it is off to bed for 2 tired little boys and 1 very sleepy girl.

Potty Training

2008-07-22T15:38:00.000-07:00

I remember potty training with Catie as being very easy. She followed directions and totally got the concept of using the potty and not have dirty pants. Boys are such a different story. We have been potty training Max for quite some time. He is starting to really get into the pee pee part but refuses to put his poop in the potty. He is still having some developmental delays and I'm not sure whether to blame it on the delays or the fact that he is a boy. He have read the books and bought a cool musical potty and even let him pick out his own big boy undies. If I remind him he will go but most times he wets himself. He is such a stubborn little boy and has to do things in his own time. I wish he would choose his time because having 2 in diapers is tough and expensive. I HATE pull ups and think they are a waste of time but he likes them. When I was potty training Catie I was more patient since she was the only child in my life and I devoted all my time to her. That included potty training. Now that there are 3 children in my life I can't devote all my time to just one child and I am not nearly as patient as I was at 21 years old. We are hoping he wakes up one day and decided today is the day to use the potty but knowing Max like I do, I am not holding my breath.

Max and the Train

2008-07-21T17:13:00.000-07:00

About a year ago the Nashville area got a commuter train and we have been promising to take the kids for a ride. This afternoon Chas got off early and we took Max and Charlie to ride the train. Dad and Aunt Janet met us there and what a ride we all had this afternoon!

Max seeing the train come around the bend

We caught the train at 3:55 and as Max heard the train come around the bend his little face lit up like a Christmas tree! Trying to get all of us on that train was not fun. The aisles are not intended for infant carriers and it was a tight squeeze. Everyone wanted to sit at the top and I made my way up the VERY narrow stairs to join the others. Max was all about it until the whistle blew and it was loud! The engine started and off we went. Every time we stopped at a station Max would say it was over and it was time to get off the train. Charlie was very fussy this afternoon and didn't enjoy it much and I got motion sickness. The top of that train sways and rocks and it made me very ill and unhappy. I finally took Charlie and sat at the bottom of the train. My stomach got better and I kept Charlie happy while Chas sat up top with Max and enjoyed the view.

Our conductor was very cool and even let Max try on his conductors hat. When we got to Nashville the train filled up and Chas and Max came down to sit with me. On the way there the train was empty but the way back it was full to the top! This was when the boys decided to be unruly! Charlie finally let himself be rocked to sleep by the train and Max thought it was awesome to take pictures with my camera. We finally made it back around 6:00 and Max was ready to get off the train. He waved goodbye to "Thomas" and the conductor and we were on our way home at last!

Me getting VERY ill at the top of the train

Charlie Getting upset before the train even got there!

All in all it was a fun day and I am ready to go to bed!

2008-07-21T06:43:00.001-07:00

Too early!

2008-07-21T05:53:00.000-07:00

My goal was to sleep until at least 8:00 this morning but it didn't work! Explain to me why Max and Charlie decided to wake up at 6:00am???? Not only that but I woke up to a nasty text message from a friend. What a great way to start my day. I am hoping it gets better soon. It isn't even 8:00 yet! GRRRR!!!!

Another Weekend Over

2008-07-20T20:15:00.000-07:00

This weekend was insane, as is all of our weekends. Normally Chas is off on Fridays and our weekend starts then but one Friday a month there is an auction and he has to work. Those are the Fridays I hate and this week was one of those Fridays! The boys had been sick all last week and gave it to Catie and me this week and by Friday I was REALLY sick. Chas had to work and I was here with all the kids alone. The government should give moms 5 sick days a year and let us call out and have someone come in and take care of our kids. Max seems to know when I am sick and takes full advantage of my weakness. My aunt Janet is in town and I was elected to go take her shopping on Friday since she is scared to drive in a town she doesn't know and boy did we have fun. I had to take Max and Charlie and they are no fun to take shopping!! Catie was at camp and I didn't have my little bug to help out and that wasn't fun at all! Finally Chas got off work and met me to get the boys and Janet and I went out to dads house to put our new purchases away. I helped clean some and did my weekly vaccuming and floor mop.

Saturday started out rough since I was still feeling pretty poorly. Chas got up and made breakfast and that always seems to start my day off nicely. He is a great cook and made eggs and bacon and pancakes and biscuits and gravy! He even went across the street and got me a LARGE iced coffee which was the icing on the cake. I headed out to dads to visit and get dinner started since we had company coming out that evening. Chas stayed home with the kids so the boys could get their naps. Max was wild all morning and I was hoping a nap would be helpful. I helped dad hang blinds and wash curtains and cook and then Chas, Charlie, Catie, and the BEAST arrived at dads house. Max was miserable. His skin has been bad lately and it makes him grouchy. Charlie is teething and wants to be held all the time. He is also starting on solid food and doesn't want to nurse as much so that made me a bit uncomfortable. Catie was her usual helpful self and was a pleasure to be around.

This morning Catie woke me up bright and early to remind me that John was coming to get her at 10:00am and I needed to pack her bags. Knowing John like I do, I rolled over and went back to sleep knowing he wouldn't be there by 10:00 or anytime thereafter. He didn't show up until 2:00 and Catie was ready to go for her 4 days with her other grandparents. She will be spending time with her brother Brandon and her sister Brittany and cousin Cooper until Wednesday and then starts school next Monday. They do this every year at John's parents house and every year she looks forward to this 4 day break from her 2 brothers here! I want a break from her brothers too!!! Max was in a foul mood which doesn't work well when we are out at dads (went back out for the afternoon) and made everyone grouchy. Dad doesn't like whining so that made for a long evening. Emily showed up and ate with us and not too long after that her boyfriend Robb showed up and it was all crazy.

On a funny note.....the Dr Phil show called tonight about an email I sent and we might be going to Los Angles to be on the show.........more on that later.

We are all home now and Charlie is asleep in his chair, Chas is asleep in the same position as Charlie in his chair and Max is crashed out in the floor. This is my signal to go to bed. Charlie will be up in about 2 hours to eat and I need a little sleep. I have to go register Catie for school tomorrow morning and need to get going pretty early!