It's a wonderful life!

I am still amazed at how my life has changed over the last few months. College is wonderful no matter how old you are! I am in a Music Appreciation class this semester and we are required to go to 2 musical performances and write a report about each. There are many free shows that I could have gone to but I wanted to take full advantage of the opportunity. Chas and I loaded up and went to the new symphony hall in Nashville and what a sight it was! It is called the Schermerhorn and the designers went all over the world looking for the best and worst of these concert halls and put all the best parts into one building. There isn't a bad seat in the house! We saw the Wizard of Oz but it isn't what you are thinking. The movie was played on a big screen and the Nashville Symphony played all the music to the movie live. It was awesome. I love the Wizard of Oz and to hear the score played live and not all old and scratchy was amazing. Sunday, Dad and Em and I went to TPAC (Tennessee performing arts center) and saw "Rain: A tribute to the Beatles". What a show! Dad sat between Em and myself and the look on his face when the show opened was one I will never forget. There were these 5 guys that all had this amazing ability to play and sing and look like the Beatles. The guy who played Ringo bobbed his head just like the real Ringo and the guy who played John Lennon went so far as to stand bow-legged just like Lennon used to do. They had the same accents and if you closed your eyes you would think you were seeing the actual Beatles. The funny thing was that all these guys were from Brooklyn! They played so many great songs and I watched my dad tap his foot and smile and he would lean over and tell me what was about to happen. " They just put a mic out for Ringo, he is going to sing A little help from my friends" or " Paul just got an acoustic guitar, he is going to sing yesterday" and best of all was the trivia questions at the beginning that he knew all the answers to. It was a fun day and I am so glad we had that time together.

Last week my friend Brandi came over and we cleaned out my kitchen and hall closet. It is so easy for us to be together and we have the same sense of humor and taste in music and we laugh non-stop. I am so grateful for her help and it came at the perfect time. I am even more grateful for her friendship.

Max has the croup and is in a pissy mood. While at the Dr this morning, Charlie projectile vomited all over the exam room. I left the office covered in puke and snot. Ahhhh.....fun times.

I am back to my homework. I have a number of projects hanging over my head and want them done!

Free Time??

Soccer is over. While I am very sad, I made a ton a friends, I am also relieved. This means that I now have Thursdays and Saturday mornings free. That is 6 extra hours in my week for homework and home and the gym and my kids!! I have been so stressed out that I have not been to the gym and my weight is so out of control. Luckily I get a month off between semesters at school and maybe I can have some mental health days. I do know that during my break I will be getting the household ready for this next semester.
I did not realize how much time school would take up and did nothing to prepare. Our house is a wreck and everything is behind. I need to do menu planning and get a grocery list system going and get a chore book for each child. Maybe I will start a household notebook with things that need to be done daily. Right now it is all out of control. I might even put my computer away for that month as well. Because I am blessed to be able to take most of my classes online, I find myself on this laptop all the time. It goes with me all the time and I am always checking my school work and schedule.
Everything is so stressful right now but I know that the end result will be well worth the work and maybe, just maybe, my kids will see how hard it is to survive without an education and how much harder it is to go to college with 3 children and a life. I hope it inspires them to go straight to college after high school. I think being an inspiration to our children is so important and I want my kids to be so very proud of me!

Must Love Fridays!

Chas only works the 3rd Friday of the month and is home the other 3 Fridays. I LOVE IT!! We went to have Max's pictures taken today at JCPenny. Oh what fun that was. Max hates to have his picture taken. He did pretty well today and it was easy to choose which poses to buy, there weren't that many that were any good. He didn't cooperate the whole time. They asked if we wanted to take off his shirt to do a "muscle-man" pose and we jumped at the opportunity! It was amazing to have his picture taken with no tube sticking out of his belly. The hole is totally closed up and looks amazing. I am shocked it closed to fast. It should have taken a month. I guess it was time! We had a fun time going around Providence and loved the good sales at Old Navy. The boys got matching shirts that said something about being monsters! Well I am done with my homework for the whole weekend and get to go to bed now. Tomorrow is the last soccer game and I have school and after that I am headed to Emily's for the night. It will be fun times!! We love our "sissy nights"!!

All better!

Max had his feeding tube taken out yesterday. It is all gone and he is officially in remission!! We are so excited and can't believe this day has finally come. They told us the hole in his tummy would close up within the next month but this morning when I went to change the bandages, it was all closed up!! I was expecting to see an oozing hole....YUCK.....instead it looks like a little belly button and if it looks this good after 12 hours I can't imagine what it will look like in a month. Max is so excited to have his tube out and the sound of him going from crying because they were taking out the tube and then the realization that it was out for good and his laughter that followed made me cry. Every time I think about how far we have come, I start to cry again. I really never thought this day would come. I finally feel like I can breathe.



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Website!!

I discovered a great website tonight and I think I am in love. Im not sure how many people know about this site and if it has been around awhile and no one told me about it then I am going to be pissed off!! It is called FlyLady.net and it is all about getting your house in order. The plan is so simple it is almost silly. If you decide to go to that site make sure you read all the stuff on there. I LOVE it!

Soccer Ball in the Face

Yesterday was so much fun. NOT! We had a soccer game yesterday morning and out of the 11 girls on the team only 7 showed up. We have to have 6 on the field to play. The girls generally get to play 2 out of the 4 periods and that works really well. Since we were short yesterday everyone had to play more than usual. Catie played all 4 quarters. She played forward the first 2 and goalie the last 2 quarters. All was going well until Catie got smacked in the face with a soccer ball. She got hit HARD! The rules are that unless a child is really hurt no one goes out on the field. I stood there for what seemed like forever until the other coach told me to go get Catie. I ran so fast across that field and when I got to her she was crumpled up in a ball covering her face. At these games I wear 2 hats. The coach hat and the mommy hat. The mommy in me wanted to scoop her up and take her home and say that we were done. The coach in me made her stand up and look at her face and tell her to buck up and keep playing. It was a hard decision and did continue to play and I was so proud of her toughness. I would have quit right then and there. After the game was over the mommy hat was back on and I ran out to her and hugged her and checked her all over and of course she was fine but it was still tough. Why is there no handbook for this stuff??

Then it all falls down....

So here I am walking around juggling these beautiful balls in the air. These balls are my life. I am doing a great job! The red ball is my marriage, the blue is my kids, the yellow is school, green is soccer, pink is friends, and the orange one is work. All is well and then one day someone throws me a purple ball. It is a ball of nothing but lies. It totally catches me off guard and I loose control and all the balls fall to the ground and shatter. So now life is one mess of different colored pieces. None of them make sense and putting them back together seems impossible. So now I am having to decided which pieces are the most important and try to get them back together first. It is so overwhelming that where do you begin? Ignorance is bliss and I am mad as hell at the person who took that away from me.

Milestones

There are times when I wish my kids didn't grow up but then there were moments like this morning when it is a very welcome thing. Catie got up and got herself ready for school and then walked to the bus stop all by herself! Max got up early (yuck) and actually laid in the bed for an hour and watched cartoons so that I could grab a few extra zzzz's! I remember when Max wouldn't even sit still to eat much less watch TV for an hour! I am now in LOVE with Dora and the Wonder Pets!! He is watching Go Yabba Yabba right now while I am doing homework. Thank God for small miracles.

School is going and I find myself with lots to do and very little time. I actually did a rough draft of my next paper due while sitting at Catie's gymnastics class. I was able to grab 10 minutes of peace (thank you Jessica) to get it all typed up and now I just need to look it over for errors. My English Comp teacher is weird about commas! I always seem to miss a few. I am finding that my math class is now my favorite and I am getting real joy out of taking a really hard problem and actually getting the right answer. I just need to find more faith in myself. The friends I am making while in school and coaching soccer is awesome! I have been so occupied with Max and his disease and then baby Charlie, that I have not made myself find new friends. All my old friends are still in point in their life that I have already passed long ago. The other soccer coach's wife and I have found that we laugh alot when we are together and it is so nice to have someone who has the same sense of humor as me. I have reached a point in my life where my friends are older, like me. I am no longer interested in having friends in their early twenties. I have realized that people in their late 20's and early 30's are right up my alley. We are all at a place in our life where we can relate to each other. Not to put down my friends who are younger. I love Amanda and Jessica but they are both single moms who have the desire and ability to go out every weekend and party and that isn't where I am anymore. By 9:30 at night I am ready for bed!

I am really enjoying this quest I am on to find myself. I have hit a maturity level that makes me not really care what people think of me, therefore I am just me. People really seem to like that person! My law class got out early last Wednesday night and instead of rushing home and avoiding everyone, I stood in the parking lot and got to know a woman who is surprisingly like me. My look has changed (thank you Emmy!), my clothes have changed (thanks again to Emmy), and my attitude has changed. I think I have made it over the hump! I have been climbing up the mountain of maturity and I think I made it over, FINALLY! It's a good place to be and I am enjoying it greatly!

I am off to clean now. Homework is done (for now) and Hotel Chasse is open this weekend. Our friend Patrick is coming back Thursday afternoon and I have lots to do to get ready!!

Nose Ring?!?!?!?

What the hell was I thinking?? On my birthday I freaked out a little because I thought I had lost who I was as a person. I knew I was a mom and a wife and sister and daughter but was that it?? I wanted to try to find that fun person who wasn't scared to take risks. I got my nose pierced. I got it pierced in May. Why does it still hurt so badly? I am sitting here trying to write a paper that is due tomorrow night and all I can think about is how badly my nose hurts. Who can write a compare and contrast paper over the Baroque period that makes sense when their nose feels like it is going to explode off their face? So much for trying to find me. All I found was a sore nose. :::sigh:::

The Pokey Little Puppy

I am beyond busy. My course load is huge. I am stressed. I am loving every minute of it! Every paper I turn in on time reminds me that I am actually doing this school thing! I am still in shock that I have done this well for this long!

Tonight I took some time out of my crazy homework schedule to read a story to all 3 kids. Max laid in his bed and Catie snuggled next to him while I rocked Charlie in the chair. I read them The Pokey Little Puppy and boy did it bring back memories. I don't even know where the book came from. I went into the boys room and saw it sitting there. It was almost like a sign to stop and breathe and read a story to my kids. As I read that story I was taken back to a great time in my life and I remembered a lot of the words. The kids loved it and everyone went to bed very happy.

Well I am off to bed. Tomorrow is a crazy day and I am dreading it. I know I will make it through okay.

What goes up must come down!

Just when we thought all was well with Max we got a hard hit. He has been throwing up all of the formula that goes into his tube but not throwing up anything that he takes in by mouth. He has dropped 3 pounds in a matter of days and will not go to the bathroom on his own. We are going to Vanderbilt today at 3:15 for a GI study. They think that there is some form of a blockage that needs to be repaired OR he has outgrown the feeding tube and it needs to be taken out and sewn up. I am hoping for the latter of the two but I don't believe that is the solution. My momma gut tells me something is wrong. I will have more to post this evening when we know something.

Frustration

I think the most frustrating thing in the world is when someone only hears what they want to hear and misses the point completely. When someone does you wrong and they make excuses and try to make themselves look good. How about just admitting you were wrong and move on? I hate to hear someone try to explain themselves out of a situation and miss the whole point of an email and try to justify what they did or said. It will ruin a relationship faster than anything and shows a real lack of mental health. Enough for now. I am going to go pick up the pieces of my life and move on and try to forget the people who used to be in my life and caused me and my family pain.

Confidence

I have never been one to be overly confident. A lot of people think I am but it is just me not letting anyone know that I am insecure and lacking confidence. I had an Algebra test yesterday and I was freaking out! I studied and went and saw my friend Karen to help me understand the stuff I wasn't sure of and I freaked out. When I got to class yesterday the teacher started going over what was going to be on the test and all the rules. I thought I was going to throw up. As the teacher passed the tests out my heart was in my chest and I thought I was going to have a panic attack. A panic attack over an Algebra test? Yup.....my true lack of confidence rearing its ugly head. I looked at the test and got going. I went over that test 3 times and took it to the front of the class to my teacher. He grades our papers while we sit there in front of him and I couldn't breathe. I got a 105 on that test out of a possible 110! I didn't miss anything on the test and I am kicking myself for missing that extra bonus question. I could barely walk back to my chair because my legs were so shaky. I was excited and relieved all at once. Why don't I have more confidence in myself? I even told my English Comp teacher that I am not a good writer and that I look forward to learning how to write in her class. I have gotten perfect grades on all my papers so far in her class. When am I ever going to learn that I am smart?

Life here has been generally crazy and Chas and I never see each other. He works Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday night and I have Law class on Wednesday night. Friday nights are our nights to be alone and do what we want and then Saturday is Soccer and Algebra Class. We get Sunday together and that is about all we see each other. We pass each other for a few minutes a day. The kids are being good which is nice and poor Catie has learned that when a certain screen is up on my computer to leave me alone that I am doing school work. She is doing well in soccer and school and I am very proud of her as she continues to blow my mind with the stuff she is learning in school. They are working on multiplication in the 2nd grade! We didn't do that until 4th grade! She has gotten a 100 on all her spelling tests and near perfect scores on her math. Today's youth has a lot of pressure on them to do well and learn quite a bit at an early age.

Charlie is starting to really crawl but still not sleeping through the night. He did pretty well last night but still woke up once or twice. He gets prettier everyday and is almost as tall as Max was at a year old. He is a big boy!!

Max is talking up a storm and has tested at a 36 month level and we are thrilled! A year ago he was testing at a 6-9 month level!! We have some of the best conversations now and he loves music! We listen to Charlotte's Web soundtrack in the morning on the way to school and he knows the words to Chin Up!! I love the way he says Ipod. He is starting to really get a grasp on counting and will go "1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 7......GO!" and makes us laugh every time.

All in all life is good and I feel very blessed right now. I hope the kiddos continue to behave!

The Flobots, Motorcycles, and Patrick

I have never had a visit with Patrick that wasn't fun. Granted when we were younger we fought alot and our parents were convinced we hated each other. Funny how when I look back on that time and laugh and remember that it wasn't hate I had for Patrick, it was a childhood crush. He was a year older than me and the coolest guy ever. There were no guys like him in my hometown! Patrick would come to visit and get me into some music group and then he would leave and I would spend the next 6 months to a year learning all the music he introduced and then he would come back and introduce a whole new batch of music. Patrick got me introduced to Weezer, Blues Traveler, and the Might Mighty Bosstones. I introduced him to the Beatles. Some things never change. While he was visiting he downloaded new music on my Ipod and once again he has me hooked on new music. Who knew the Flobots would be something I could ever like! My kids fell in love with Patrick and I am pretty sure the feeling was mutual. Chas was very standoffish at first but soon warmed up to him and now he wants him to move in with us and is counting down the days until his next visit. When he left this morning some of the energy that he always brings with him left our house and now our house seems sad and not as bright. He really has a way about bringing laughter with him no matter where he goes. I am so glad he came to visit!!

Patrick and Max are great friends!

I'm sure this one looks very bad but hear me out! Max insisted on running around all day in nothing but a tshirt and so Patrick rolled his shorts all the way up to imitate Max. He did have his shorts on!! I promise!

Somehow Patrick manages to make the crazy side come out of the Taylor sisters and Emily is still not immune to his antics. This picture came out really wrong since I snapped it while they were posing. It was good to see Emily cut loose a little.

Yup! That's me on a motorcycle. I never thought I would ever ride a motorcycle and now I am hooked. I had the best time riding on that thing and I am still shocked that I actually rode on it and didn't fall off or have a panic attack!


So long story short, my whole family got a huge dose of humor and energy that we desperately needed. We all look forward to his next visit! Especially Catie who had the BIGGEST crush ever and was not shy about showing her crush. He took her for a motorcycle ride around the parking lot and she thinks she is hot stuff now!! What a fun 4 days!

Life is NUTS!

Before school started I was writing a post a day and now I am so busy that I haven't had time to write in a week!! My classes are hard and I am mega stressed out and wondering what I got myself into! There are so many papers to write and subjects to research and math to work on and ALL my Law stuff to figure out!!! Between school and work and soccer and Chas working 2 jobs, our paths have barely crossed. We see each other for about 5 minutes every day.

A good friend of mine came in this weekend and it has been so much fun! Our moms went to college together and our families have been friends for years. Last night Patrick and Emily and I all went out to downtown Nashville. HOLY CRAP! What a night!! Chas was wonderful to let me go and spend the night in Brentwood with Emily and we partied hard. It has been years since I have been able to go out and have a really good time like that and I really needed that time with my sister and good friend. We took a cab to and from Nashville and when they came to get us it was in a Lincoln Towncar! I felt like a celebrity when we got dropped off in front of that club. Patrick put the vibes out that no one was to come on to Em and me and we had a very fun night!

Sunday I finally decided to make the effort to get to know mom's new boyfriend and it did not go very well. It was finally real to me that my mom and dad are really divorced and it was the first time I really got to grieve my parents divorce. Mom's boyfriend is very outspoken and has a very poor delivery when he talks to you and we had some drama. I went back today to try to work it out and be the bigger person but it is hard when you have a man that is basing his judgement of you on what someone else tells him. I believe that our relationship will be tolerable but that will be all. Today was very emotional for me and I hope that the pain I am feeling goes away one day. I am grieving hard and my heart hurts so bad. I miss my mom and dad and their marriage and I miss who my parents used to be together. It would be different if I was 6 or 7 when they got divorced because I wouldn't have so many memories but I am 27 and have lots of memories and now there is a man in my moms life that is coming off like he doesn't want my family in their new life. I made it clear to him to day that he isn't my dad and never will be and that I have a dad and plenty of good male role models in my life and that as of now he isn't welcome in my life, especially if he plans on continuing throwing rocks in my box and name calling. I will accept him as my moms boyfriend but that is all I am capable of right now and I hope my mother will respect that and be patient. At this point I think I doubt that will be the case.

Emily, Patrick, Chas and I all went out to dinner tonight with no kids and had a GREAT time! It is so good to be surrounded by people who love me and make me laugh. Patrick is leaving in the morning and I am going to miss him terribly. He has made such an impact on my whole family and has been a great source of support to me and my sister during this major change in our life. He went through a divorce with his parents at an older age and knew exactly what we were going through. He also downloaded some GREAT music on my ipod and I am enjoying it as I write this! There is something about Jack Johnson that makes me smile and lift my heart. I forgot how much I liked his music.

Well I am off to bed. Charlie is sleeping in his crib for the first time in Max's room and I am expecting a long night. It was time and Chas really pushed me into this move. I have been bending alot this weekend and while it is uncomfortable it is time I learn that you can bend but you don't have to break. It is a hard lesson but I will survive. This has been a weekend of firsts for me and while very painful, quite a bit cleansing. I will survive this. I have to!

Short Post

Today was nuts! We had soccer practice at 9:00am, drop the boys off with sitters by 11:00am, have Chas to the wedding by 11:30am, I had to be at school by 1:00pm (it is 45 minutes away) and be at Ashley's (niece) birthday party by 5:00pm. Needless to say it was rough day!

I have checked into 3 of my 5 classes and have already begun my English class and went to my Math class this afternoon. My English teacher has given us a TON of work to do just on the first day of school! My math teacher isnt the greatest in my opinion. He is a very smart man and while he could probably teach a more advanced class and be great, he has no business teaching ELEMENTARY ALGEBRA! He likes to make assumptions. He assumes we know something already and he need not go over the text. It has been YEARS since I have done any type of math and I forgot all about variables and how to manage fractions. Assume nothing with me but I was able to get on track.

I have been doing homework since 7 and I feel like I have gotten no where. I will write more tomorrow is time permits! I have pics to post from Ashleys bday and the wedding that Chas was in today. Catie is a great little photog!

Malfunctioning Children

What a week this has been and its only Thursday! I took the boys to the Dr yesterday because they both had runny noses. I normally don't take my kids to the doctor for a runny nose but Max told me his ear hurt. That is one of the real perks of having a child who can finally talk!! So Max has an ear infection and Charlie has a little head cold AND a yeast infection in his neck (gotta love fat babies) and GERD. Poor little guy has really bad heartburn and spits up all the time and has these lovely screaming fits. I am hoping this helps him start sleeping through the night. Chas and I are so tired from these up all night deals. Chas is way more tired than me since he has started getting up with Charlie more at night. By the time Chas gets the baby back to sleep it is time for him to get up and go to work. Luckily he has the next 4 Fridays off and I am very excited.

Today is soccer practice and don't you know I forgot what time it got moved to?? Crap. I had to email the other coach like a big doofus and ask him. What kind of coach am I if I can't even remember what time we have practice. Life is too short to be this unorganized!

I have decided to be brutal in cleaning out this apartment. We have too much crap and so I am going through stuff and posting it on our local FreeCycle. I posted some stuff last night and got a number of fast replies and have a nice lady coming to pick up the first batch today. If I don't get some stuff out of here we are going to have to move Charlie to the roof!

It is getting to be that time of year that I loathe. I have 2 favorite seasons. Spring and Fall. They are beautiful around here and I love the colors and weather. I HATE the changing of the clothes. I have to do it twice a year and it takes all weekend. I have only it done for 2 kids in the past and this is my first year of adding a 3rd child. I have to drag out all the summer stuff and box it up and get out the winter stuff but still make sure I have some summer stuff left out to go under sweaters and such. I was hoping Max would be able to wear his jeans from last year but no such luck. He has grown 3 inches and so all of his old pants are way to short. I don't undertand why they group kids in these sizes. 12M, 18M, 24M, 2T, 3T, ect..........Max has long legs but a small waist. Why don't they have a 2T long?? The 3T will fit him in length but not around his tummy so he will have pants falling down all winter. Charlie is SUPER long and is the same length as Max was at 12 months old. I am pretty sure Max's winter clothes will fit Charlie. Catie has quite a number of things for this winter but will need a few tops. Max will need all new clothes. Poor kid. All he wore last year were onsies because of his tube and now his torso is too long and he needs regular shirts. So it is off to Wal-Mart to hit the geranimals section!! I LOVE only spending $3.50 on a pair of pants that I know he is going to trash. I am hoping Childrens Place will have a big sale too so I can get him a couple of semi-nice things. It all adds up and I am glad I am working!

Well I am off to find something to clean out. It shouldn't be too hard!! Everything is stuffed to the rafters!!

Dreaming

Today was an awful day. Chas called me this morning to make sure I was up to take Catie to school and go to work and he asked me if I spilled something in front of the washer. I told him no and went downstairs to investigate. There was a river running through my kitchen!! I traced the source of the water to a leaky hose on our hot water heater. I called maintenance (at 7:00am) and left a message. Thank goodness he is our neighbor and he was right over to turn everything off to stop the leak. I refuse to mess with any of that stuff, that's why we pay rent! So as Im cleaning up the mess, Chas sends me a text message and all it said was Mike died. I started to cry. I never met this man and don't know him but he was my brother-in-laws father and he was sick for a very short period of time. He had cancer that quickly took his life. I cried for my nieces, Bailey and Ashley, and I cried for my brother-in-law and April, and I cried for a man who wasn't going to get to see his grand kids grow up. I remember when my grandfather died and it was a terrible time for our whole family. It has been almost 14 years since my grandpa died and I miss him more and more everyday. Im glad that Mike is no longer in pain and Im not quite sure his death effected me like it did. I think it is because he died of lung cancer and I have smoked for almost 13 years and it scares me......................

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So after the whole no water situation and having to keep Catie out of school and taking her to work with me (not a good idea, Catie and Max fight too much), I settled into my daily routine. The day really drained me and I HAD to take a nap this afternoon. Both boys slept for a good amount of time and I got a nice little nap in today!

As I was fixing dinner I walked barefoot in my living room and as I walked by the closet my feet squished. There is something new leaking in our other closet and the carpet is soaked. We can't find the leak and I have had to take everything out of this closet. We don't have much space here and so the way that closet is packed defies the laws of gravity. So ALL that stuff is now stacked in my living room. What a way to start my day tomorrow!

Chas and Charlie are asleep on the couch and I took a few minutes to look for a desk for myself! I need something to put my laptop on and study. I have a ton of books and have no real place to do my studies. I found a few desks and headed over to the kids rooms section. I looked at bunk beds with a slide for the boys and a beautiful canopy bed for Catie and all I could do was dream. These are things that my kids have never asked for and I doubt they ever will but they are still things that I want to be able to buy for them one day. This ability to dream has really fueled my drive to finish school and be a huge success and provide for my kids in a way that we surely can't do right now. My aunts and cousins are trying to put money together for a new recliner for my grandfathers birthday and I felt so bad because they were all contributing $50 and all my family could pitch in was $25 and even that will be a struggle to come up with right now. I want to be able to throw in $100 or more and while that is not a reality right now I know it will be one day. I will be a success. I watched my Aunt M and cousins struggle and go through all the hard times and yet my Aunt has a PhD and teaches at a University now. She didn't finish all her school until she was older and she did it! She is part of my inspiration as well.

Sorry this is such a rambling post. It has been a tough day and my mind is racing with everything that has happened. I am going to climb into bed with Charlie and read my Sociology book. I should be asleep in no time!

The Wilson County Fair

Charlie excited about the fair!

What a day! It was pretty hot but there was a nice breeze and lots of good shade to be found at the Wilson County Fair! Our county fair is the best fair in the state and brings in more people than the Tennessee State Fair. Today was the Antique car show and normally dad enters his car but there is something wrong with the engine and he couldn't get it to run. That didn't stop dad from going and so the 5 of us and dad all went together. We went to the car show and looked at all the cars. There was a Corvair there which happens to be my favorite car since I have one and there was a Model A there that was identical to my grandfathers first remodeled car. It was the same color and everything and it took me back to my childhood and riding in the rumble seat to go to car meets. I think my dad was glad to see it as well. We went around and looked at all the cars and headed over to look at the livestock and Max was very confused by the goats since they sounded like sheep. We saw a few celebrities and while the livestock barns were stinky it was filled with shade and gave us a few moments of cool. We went and got ice cream and drinks and after we saw all there was to see dad left and we stayed to ride some of the rides. Since we had the boys we opted to not ride the rides since someone would get left out and just let Catie ride everything. That kid is fearless! She rode everything she could ride and wasn't scared at all! She was barely tall enough to ride the big rides without one of us and had a great time. I was more scared than she was at times! The boys and I got lots of sun and we are all very tired! It was a fun filled day but exhausting. Everyone is in bed now and I am soon to follow. Enjoy the pictures from today! *there are no pictures of Max because he would never look at the camera*

Ariel shot of the fair from the scary faris wheel!

Charlie taking a brief nap

Catie after a grown up ride!

Charlie mastering the art of the sippie cup

There are tons of churches every year and they seem to get more creative each year! This cracked me up!

This was a horse made out of 1071 horse shoes! It took 1000 hours to make!

Catie and Poppy looking at old cars

Sun kissed baby Charlie

Pictures of the Boys

Charlie and his new toy

Charlie and Max in the bathtub

Charlie LOVES his bath

Max LOVES his bath too!

Soccer

I wasn't able to get my computer in the shop until Friday so I have one more day with my baby. I thought I would post Catie in her soccer gear! She did so well today at her first practice and I think I did pretty good myself!! It wasn't too hot and we mainly ran drills and practiced long kicks to see where all the kids stand in the way of skill. Catie did well considering she has never played before and she showed some real potential. I think if she could learn how to run she would be a great athlete. She has the skills but the poor child can't run!! She flails her arms about and looks too funny. Max wanted to play too but Aunt Em took him and Charlie to the playground to burn off some energy. It was a great afternoon but I am really tired today.





While I was cooking dinner tonight Max escaped out the back door and a very kind neighbor brought him home. I wanted to kill him!! He is such a monster and how he has figured out the child proof knobs is beyond my realm of understanding. He can't pee pee in the potty but he can get a child proof door knob open. What am I going to do with him!

I saw an old acquaintance that happens to know our family very well and I found out that there is a certain member of my family that isn't happy about me going back to school and isn't going to be supportive. I had been wondering for awhile if this person was happy about me going to school but after a little incident this week it all made sense. It is hurtful to me that someone who is supposed to love me doesn't have faith in me and it just makes me want it that much more. The funny thing is that when I do graduate from school this same person who has no faith in me now will try to take credit for me finishing and it just burns me up inside. But what can you expect from a dysfunctional family like mine?

Well I am off to bed. I am weary and this is the first time all day I have had the chance to sit down for something other than feeding a child or driving. Tomorrow will be better!

Off for awhile

My nice new laptop that I bought from Best Buy is malfunctioning and since it is the only working computer in this house, I am about to be without a computer for an unknown amount of time. I have to take it to Best Buy to those Geeks and see if they can fix it without ruining it or losing the poor thing. I have heard some scary stuff about Best Buy and I am a bit nervous about taking my computer with all my pics and personal info to these guys. They said it could take 2-4 weeks to fix it and my first class starts August 23 and I have to sign into my class via the Internet in order to get credit and financial aid. GRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Monster Max and 2nd Jobs

Chas got a second job and while the end goal is one worth working for, I am tired. I am out numbered when he isn't home and the kids know it and boy do they take advantage of the situation. Max was a monster all afternoon and evening and I was reading to wring his sweet little neck. Charlie insisted on being held all evening and Catie had real problems with following directions. All that combined has made for a rough evening. Max has such an attitude these days and loves to make his opinion known to everyone. He screamed and threw a tantrum every time he had a chance and I was sick of it by 7:00 when Chas got home from his second job. He was so sweet and took both boys to Kroger to get me some yummy ice cream. I have been craving sweets so bad here lately and wanted something with peanut butter and chocolate. He is the king of ice cream so I know he will bring me home something wonderful.

I made baby food this evening and had a really hard time. Normally I block off a portion of my day just to make baby food and that is all I do during that time. I have been so busy lately and SO tired when the boys nap that I haven't been able to get it all done. I decided that I would make up a couple things tonight while I was cooking dinner and it just didn't work out for me like I wished it would have. I couldn't get the Mango to peel and cut and it wasn't ripe enough so I had to steam it a little to get it to be smooth and the Avocados didn't like my food processor tonight so I ended up doing that one by hand. It was messy and I had dinner going at the same time AND my Max was being really naughty. I am going to make myself do it tomorrow during nap time no matter how tired I am at that time.

I talked to my sis-in-law today and found out that she is going to watch Charlie on the 23rd of this month so I can go to my first class and Charles is going to watch Maxwell!! We thought we had it all planned out but Chas is in a wedding and they moved it up a week and it happens to be at the same time as my class and since it is the end of the month Dee has to work so I thought I was in big trouble. It is things like this that make me wonder if I am doing the right thing by going back to school while the kids are this little. As my first day of school gets closer I find myself doubting my ability to do this school thing and be a mom and a soccer coach and a chauffeur and all the other stuff I do on a daily basis. It seems to scary to be going to school at this age. I feel like I am going to be the old lady in a crowd of young kids. If it weren't for my hubby and his undying support I would probably chicken out right about now. I am so glad I have such a great set of in-laws or I would probably fail before I even began.

Well I am off to eat my ice cream. I pray tomorrow will be a better day. I read a great quote today that said "Don't worry about today because tomorrow it will just be a memory". I really enjoyed that and will remember that quote daily....or at least try to remember!

Acrobatics, Dogs, and Biting

What a day it has been. Charlie did not sleep through the night and I was so tired this morning. Max woke up in a terrible mood and was a cranky boy all day. Luckily Catie got up pretty fast and we were on time for school. Thank God for small blessings.

So we got to Karen's house and of course Max was afraid of the dogs and HAD to scream when we got there and his scream is enough to make me want to scream. I got everyone settled in and fed and then I got to cleaning. I guess I was making more noise than usual because Grandmother got up earlier than she normally does and we were off to the races! Max loves when she wakes up because he knows it is time for him to eat his yogurt and play. Today he decided to pretend to be a dog and bless Grandmothers heart, she played right along with Max. He crawled around like a dog and she pet him and totally played long with him and it was adorable.

We got home and as we walked in the door Max grabbed his blanket and bobby and headed upstairs and put himself down for a nap. It was really cute and impressive! Charlie took a good nap as well and I got a little done around the house. I had to get the boys up at 2 so that we could get ready to get Catie from school and go to acrobatics.


I tried to get Max excited about acro but it is hard to explain to a 2 year old what that is exactly. I told him he was going to do flips and he got excited and started saying he was going to go to "slips"! So we get Catie from school and fly over to the studio. What a disaster. Max freaked out when I took his shoes off and REFUSED to even go in the room. Catie tried to take him in there and I went in and sat which is frowned upon but nothing worked. He finally went in the room but only to roll down the ramps mats and didn't want anything to do with that class. Needless to say we un-enrolled him in acrobatics. Catie did very well in her class and I was impressed at how much she stood out from the other kids. She is really talented and I wished she would take it more seriously. We are pushing her in acrobatics because it helps her with sports and I think that a strong body is important when playing soccer or softball. If just one part of her is strong then she could damage the weaker parts and acro seems to strengthen every part of her body. Her muscles are long and lean and her upper body strength is great.

I got the call tonight from the head coach of our soccer team. He failed to show up at the meeting Sunday and so he had no information on the team or anything else. Good thing his trusty Assistant Coach was there and got all the info instead. So we talked and set up our practices and I guess Assistant in Soccer means "ALL THE WORK"!! I called all the parents and let them know when practice was and none of them liked the time so I had to veto the head coach and change the time to a little later in the evening. I am in for a real treat this season and I hope Catie gets how hard it is to coach and how much I love her to be doing this for her!!! It is so out of my comfort zone but it is good to connect with other parents and its a great opportunity for Catie to meet new friends. The only problem I have with coaching soccer is that there is no profanity. I am in BIG trouble on that one. I do understand the rule though!!

Our house is loud all the time and so I went outside to call these soccer parents and as I am on the phone with this very unpleasant father I hear all the kids start to cry. LOUD CRYING! I then heard Chas inside yelling and I continued to sit on that front step. I was not in the mood for the drama that my kids cause in the evening. Next thing I know Catie is outside crying and I hear Max screaming his head off inside. Charlie sounded like he was going to explode because he was crying so hard. SO I get off the phone and start with Catie. I asked her what happened and why was she crying. Max hauled off and bit her for no reason other than to be mean. I looked at her back where he got her and there was a huge bite mark and it was pretty bad. Max was crying because he got into a TON of trouble for biting Catie and Charlie was crying because all the kids crying scared him. It was nuts and I was glad when everyone got to bed.

Chas went to bed early and I stayed up with Charlie and watched a movie. I have to say Tyler Perry is one of my favorite writers and I have seen almost all of his movies. I LOVED Diary of a Mad Black Woman and Medea's Family reunion. I got Why Did I get Married the other day from our free trial with Netflix and it has been a movie I have been really wanting to see. The movie came last week and I have been trying to find a quiet moment to watch it and last night proved to be the first time in a week that it was quiet. Tyler Perry has a way of making you laugh, and then get angry, and then you cry, and just when you think you can't take anymore you get a shock and all you can do is laugh and then the ending is so wonderful and inspirational that you cry again. That movie was wonderful and I would love to own it one day. Tyler Perry has a real talent of adding God into his plays that makes it comfortable and not preachy or over bearing. I also have another one of his movies that I am going to watch the next time it gets quiet!

Sonic, Soccer, and other Observations

Aunt Em feeding Charlie the other day

What a weekend this has been! It has seemed to have been non-stop and while it has been a blast I have gotten nothing done that needed to be taken care of!

Saturday we went to Walmart with Dee (MIL), April (SIL), Bailey, Ashley, Chas, our 3 kids, and Aunt Myrna. Talk about a cluster! It was nutso but we found some awesome deals and Catie walked out with about 6 dresses, a bunch of short, a bathing suit (for next year), a new leotard for acro tomorrow, and a pair of black church shoes. Max walked out with 4 pairs of shoes and a new outfit and Charlie got a new outfit and TONS of kisses from Nana and Aunt April. I was shocked to find out that Max has moved out of the baby shoe aisle and he is now in the big boy shoes. It was a huge milestone for us since he wasn't growing at all last year. He got a pair of size 7 Thomas the Train light up shoes! I am not a fan of character clothing but everytime we have gone into Walmart he seems to find those shoes and we found them in his size yesterday and Nana got them for him. He is VERY proud of those shoes!

After we got home the boys were laid down for a nap and Chas got ready to go the Tennessee Titans football game!!! He was so excited and I am glad he got to go with his dad. I waited until the boys woke up and then I went over to Dee's house where I hung out with the kids for a bit and Aunt April showed up with the girls and loved on my boys while the girls played around. I left there and went to Sonic where I was in for quite the shock! I pulled in and it looked like a party going on! There were cars parked with fold out chairs behind them and the whole patio of Sonic was full of teenagers. Young teenagers. It was 10:30 at night! They all had REALLY nice phones and cars and these were definitely the "popular" kids. I watched them for a minute remembering how uncomfortable these same kind of kids used to make me feel and I noticed this girl sitting right outside the group and I watched. It was painfully obvious this girl was not part of the popular crowd but she still sat there waiting for someone to speak to her or include her so that she could be a part of this blessed group of teens. These popular kids always seemed to have it all and I used to be so jealous and uncomfortable. They had this look about them and no matter what they wore they always looked popular. I still find myself in awe of this group to this day and will probably not go to my 10 year reunion because of the fear of these people. I was a band geek and wanted to be included so badly in this group but somewhere inside of me there was this knowledge that I would never fit in no matter how hard I tried. So I sat there last night watching this girl who was awkward and didn't have the "look" or lots of money and I felt so badly for her. She looked so sad sitting there all alone and I wanted to get out of the van and go tell her that these people are no better than her and that one day we will all be equals as adults. I wish I believed that myself.

This morning I woke up feeling unusually refreshed and it took me a minute to figure out why I felt so good. CHARLIE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!! First time ever and it was a miracle! As if life couldn't get any better, Max slept until 8:30 this morning and was happy!!! We decided to go eat our once a month special coupon all you can eat breakfast buffet and it was pretty good. Max has decided that he wants to have a say in everything so after a small battle at the fruit station we ate in peace. We met up with Dee at the Outlet Mall and went to the Reebok store. Chas has a HUGE foot and it is so hard to find shoes for him but for some reason Reebok has his size. He got 2 pairs of shoes and I got a pair of plain white comfy reeboks! It was buy 2 get 1 free which is a deal we get once a year. After that Dee and I went to the bra store. I got measured for a bra and was shocked to find out I have gone up a TON of cup sizes and was then depressed to find that there are no pretty bras for a DDD.....I was lucky and did find a comfy basic bra that is quite wonderful. I also got one of those body shaper tops that smooths and tucks and I was quite pleased with the results. I then went to a meeting for Soccer Coaches and got my packet for my team. I was so excited I actually got a coaches jersey!! It was a shining moment in my life as a mom.

Well I am off to Walmart to get food for the week and run some other errands while Chas is out mowing dads yard. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day! Chas starts his second job and Max starts acrobatics for the first time ever and Catie starts her 4th year of acro. I am nervous for Max and hope he does well. We have never really put any limitations on him with his feeding tube and I don't plan on doing that unless we find something he can't do b/c of the tube. We shall see how he does tomorrow and I will have pics to post of this HUGE milestone in his life.

More Jars of Clay

More of Steve......how can you resist that smile!

The girls: Bailey, Ashley, and Catie

Lead singer Dan

Chas not knowing that I was taking his picture

Jars of Clay and other goodies

So it is almost 11:00pm and I am SO tired! We got to go see Jars of Clay this evening and it was so much fun! I love to go see bands that are cool with fans taking pictures and allow their fans to be right at the stage and don't have a TON of security and require you to pay $10 to get a 4x6 shot of themselves. Jars of Clay has to be the most down to earth band I have ever met (yes I have met them about 6 years ago) and the sweetest group of guys you could ever want to be around. There was no assigned seating and my mom in law insisted we get there early so we could get seats. Early bird gets the worm! We waited in line for 30 minutes before the gates opened and then it was off to the best seats! We sat right up front and had the best view ever! It was a great concert and Max was very well behaved which was a shock to all of us! After the concert Catie, Chas, Charles, and Ashley stayed for the baseball game and Dee, Bailey, Max, and I headed home to get a bite to eat. I was going to stay for the game but Max's behavior at that point was unpredictable and I didn't feel right leaving him with Dee and I really wanted to see my Charlie who was with Aunt April. So here are the pics. I am so tired and I will tell more about the concert tomorrow. It is late and we have a busy Saturday ahead of us and I need some sleep. I am thinking it is sports weekend! Tomorrow is the start of Pre-Season football and Chas and his daddy are going to the game. Chas is very excited! Lots of sports in 24 hours!!!


Catie and my nieces Ashley and Bailey with the lead singer Dan

The girls and Max waiting in line

Max...don't you love the busted lip! That happened yesterday........

The lead singer Dan

My very favorite of them all and based on the sheer magnitude of pictures taken by myself and Ashley it is obvious we both have a small crush on Steve....what can I say, I have a thing for hairy arms....sigh....

Catie and Max using the Balloon as a drum

Sleepy Boys and books

My Maxwell is too darn funny! So last night he fell asleep in Charlie's bouncy seat all on his own! He was so cute and when he is sleeping like that I just want to snuggle him all night. It makes the bad day that we had seem to disappear. He is turning into such a mouthy monster. I was taking a nap on the couch the other day and Chas got onto Max and so Max (so much like his mother) mouthed off to his dad and I lifted my head up off the couch and told him to knock it off and be nice. Do you know what that little imp said to me???? He told me that I needed to go back to my pillow! GRRRR! He is such a smart mouth monster. Then today we were watching tv at Karen's and a commercial of that Vagasil testing kit came on the television and Max got very upset saying that he didn't want that stuff! We assured him he would never have to use it as long as he lived. Bless his heart.

Max asleep in Charlie's bouncy chair last night

Well after I got done at Karen's I went over to Gallatin to get my school books from the Textbook Brokers. If I would have bought my books at the bookstore on campus it would have cost me a fortune PLUS I don't have my leftover financial aide check as of now and there is no way I could buy my books out of pocket. So there is this bookstore across the street that is awesome! Not only do they sell the textbooks BUT they will hold your check until your financial aide comes through and then you go back and pay the bill or they just put it through your checking account. Well I didn't realize just how many books I needed until today. As the very young clerk went to go get my books he kept having to make trips back to the counter to drop them off and I watched this stack of books grow before my very eyes. The total came to $477.00 and I almost had a heart attack! At least the state is paying for it since I got that Federal Pell Grant. Thank goodness for that or I would be in lots of trouble. So now I have my books and backpack and pencils and notebook and I have to wait 2 more weeks! I feel like a kid starting school for the first time and I just can't wait. Im sure my tune will change once the homework rolls in and then I will not be as excited. My books are so pretty and colorful and filled with information to help me and my family have a great future. Unfortunately my hubby saw the receipt and forbid the kids to go anywhere near those books. Im suprised they are not under lock and key. I love him but he such a tight ass!

Here are all my books! English Comp 101, Law 100, Music Appreciation, Algebra, and Sociology 101

Well we are off to go to a baseball game tonight! The band Jars of Clay are playing before the game and my mother in law is a HUGE fan and so we all get to go see Jars of Clay perform and then Dee and Bailey and Ashley and Max are going back to Lebanon and Chas, his dad, Catie and myself are sticking around for the game. I will have lots of pics to post!!!

Karen's flowers

Karen has a beautiful backyard as stated in the previous post and I love going out there! It rained last night and so this morning there was rain drops on the flowers and the colors were magnificent! I went out with my camera and got a couple of shots of her incredible flowers. I am clueless as to what everything is and don't really care to know. I just think they are beautiful.

This flower was such a pretty color but I have no idea what it would be!

This is my absolute favorite thing I saw today.....Im thinking about making it my background on my computer screen

These looked like little bouquets already made up!

I thought this was a neat-o birdhouse....there was a birds nest in it!

We had a rabbit once that used to eat the green parts of this flower right out of our hands! ***sigh***
Happy Memory

Trampolines and Hairbows

I overslept this morning which started my day off a little hectic. My cell phone broke and I had to get a new one and I forgot to set my alarm in the new one and if Chas hadn't called me this morning I would have been REALLY late. I got everybody ready in record time and it was a red letter day! Catie wore a hair bow!!

I made her smile in this picture


I asked her what she thought of the bow in this picture

So the day went as follows.....Dropped Catie off at school, raced to Karen's house and fed the boys and took Max out to play outside for a bit while Charlie was asleep. We had great fun but ended up coming in pretty quick due to the terrible humidity. Karens backyard is so beautiful and I love going out there. She has a great green thumb and I am SO jealous! The only thing I manage to keep alive are my kids! Max played on the trampoline and got on the swing and had a big old time! He didn't like the trampoline that much. He is such a funny kid and will probably want to get on the trampoline tomorrow and will love it and I will have to drag him off it with him kicking and screaming. No one really prepares you for boys. I love my boys but they are too much some times!

Max not being happy on the trampoline


Mr. Max loving the swing!



Max and Charlie crawling around while grandmother ate breakfast




Emily called today and said she was in town and so she stopped by and we had "sissy time" and it was nice to see her! Catie came home and saw the car and was very excited and shocked at the same time! Em is so busy and rarely gets over this way and it has been a long time since she has been over here. Well I am off to goo cook dinner. We are having yummy chicken tetrazini!! I can't wait to go to the farmers market this weekend and get some yummy veggies for us to eat. I am about tired of fresh frozen. They are okay and they work in a pinch but nothing beats the real thing!!!